Do you have a sense of self?

What kind of question is that!? Makes you think, right? Ummm... yeah, I developed it while eating string cheese and watching E! News. Okay, I’ll take it seriously.

I think some super important self-development time in my life just happened over the past 4 years.

I was single, I was working, and all of a sudden I had the responsibility for taking ownership of who I am. It wasn't college life, or circumstances, or family, or a relationship. It was me. Alone. Finding out who I am as an individual. I was deciding to find a church, I was deciding how to live, and I had to stop depending on others and my community to define me. I went to church alone, started volunteering, started dating (kinda/ not really.. I didn't date. That is a lie).

The past 4 years have been a challenge, but they have been fun. They have shaped me into who I am now. I know that this will continue in different ways, but for now, I feel really good about how God has used this season of my life. I seriously cannot even imagine being in the relationship I’m in now without having had that time to develop a sense of self. If Brian and I kept dating right after college, I would probably still be that same co-dependent girl. I would let my circumstances and surroundings define my relationships and faith. Herd mentality, you know? Having the opportunity to discover who I am, as an individual, was seriously the best gift ever.

I think a sense of self and self-confidence go hand in hand as well. We all have our insecure moments… especially around meanies or intimidating people, but in general, self-confidence is necessary in order to be a functional human being whom others want to be around. Go on! Discover who you want to be! Many years ago, Destiny’s Child told us to be independent women.  I may not be quite on the level Beyonce and co. were singing about… as all of my immediate family members live in the same city as me. But I’m trying Bey! Give me a freaking break!

I know this GIF is from the Survivor vid. But it is WAY better than the ones from Independent Women. Get off my back.

I hope that answer was serious enough for you! If you want to get to know me for reals, you can come over and we can read tabloids, watch ABC family and eat some cake and/or ice cream. Preferably both.

Apparently I take questions, so if you have any others, let me know! They could be thought provoking things like, “Who is your favorite character on Pretty Little Liars?” Or as serious as, “If you could perform one spell from Harry Potter, what would it be?” See! I am super deep. You can thank the past 4 years for that.