Victoria's Secret Model Eats Ice Cream with Tayor Swift.

How's that for a headline!?

I LOVE the VS Fashion Show. It taped last night. Is it just me or is T-Swift working on her leg game? Maybe she is tryna get on Carrie’s level? Get em guuurl!

Some people get annoyed with the VS fashion show and get all “How can we possibly live up to this unnatural body standard!?” Uhhhh no one said you had to. It is just good entertainment with awesome musical acts. Crazy person. Also, it is winter. So it isn't like anyone is suggesting you put on a bikini tomorrow. I am suggesting you put on a big chunky sweater. It will all be okay!

PS. Those girls don’t eat food like normal people. Have you had food? It’s delicious! You know that saying, “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels”… ??? That statement could not be more untrue! Whoever wrote that has never had truffle fries. or ice cream. or cheese.

This may or may not have been photo-shopped. Tune in on Dec. 10th to know for certain!

I plan on watching the VS fashion show on my couch. With a bowl of ice cream. In my big chunky sweater (for warmth from the ice cream). I could not be more excited! I always enjoy the energy and enthusiasm behind the show. And you know I love me some T-Swift!

Feel free to call me an anti-feminist. The show airs on December 10th, come over to throw things at me if you must!

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Things I care too much about.

A few weeks ago, I listed some things that I don't care about. So I decided it couldn't hurt to share some unnecessary things that I care way too much about. Here we go!

String cheese:

This is important you guys. Not all brands of string cheese are created equally! I am picky about string cheese. My surprise favorite: Target brand. String cheese is the perfect salty snack!

Nailpolish:
I didn't care so much about nail polish until Sara influenced my life. But it has turned into a way to relax. You have to pay attention to your nails as you paint them.  It totally gets my mind off anything potentially stressful and gets me into a zen mode. Then over time this happened…

That is in my bathroom. I’m not proud. Okay, maybe a little.

Coffee:

If you try to give me weak coffee, I will throw that scalding hot beverage in your face. I’m not even sorry about the hideous burns, should have tasted it before handing it to me.

Chapstick:

I have perpetually dry lips due to that fact that I drink too much coffee and not enough water. I am also a professional at losing chapstick. So if you ever have a spare, maybe slip it into my purse? Thanks in advance!

Things I don’t care about.

This mostly in regard to social media.

1.) Your Paleo diet. Or the fact that you made Paleo food. Piggy back: your vegan diet and your juice cleanse. Although, if I was doing a juice cleanse, I would tell EVERYONE! Just to brag and to get sympathy.

2.) Your Crossfit life. See this post.

3.) Your baby’s digestion, bowel movements and vomit. I like looking at pictures of your baby, but I don't want to hear about the other stuff. I want to have kids someday... please don't scare me away from it.

4.) Your latte foam. We have all seen pretty latte foam! (Addendum: if it is in the shape of an animal or something unique, feel free to post.)

5.) If your sports team is winning. I clearly need to quit Facebook and Twitter during football season. If I see one more waste of a post that says “Goooo Ducks! #WTD” or “Beaver Believer” or “Let’s go Hawks!”... Obviously the weekend and social media can no longer go hand in hand in my life. (Addendum: If your comment is funny or clever, feel free to post.)

For the record: I am guilty of plenty of lame posting. Like tons!! And I will continue to post pictures of my friends, my boyfriend, coffee and bloody marys as much as my little heart desires. I don’t care if you already know what they look like.

On a completely unrelated note, yet something I do not care about, Grey’s Anatomy is still on! I saw an add while watching Modern Family. I thought about it for a second and realized that I used to watch in 2006!!! Give it up Grey’s. You aren't ER. We all stopped watching MANY years ago.

This post may seem negative, but really I am just telling the truth for one little blog post. For the record, each annoying post is canceled out by at least 4 that I enjoy! I swear, I am not a miserable person.

Do you have a sense of self?

What kind of question is that!? Makes you think, right? Ummm... yeah, I developed it while eating string cheese and watching E! News. Okay, I’ll take it seriously.

I think some super important self-development time in my life just happened over the past 4 years.

I was single, I was working, and all of a sudden I had the responsibility for taking ownership of who I am. It wasn't college life, or circumstances, or family, or a relationship. It was me. Alone. Finding out who I am as an individual. I was deciding to find a church, I was deciding how to live, and I had to stop depending on others and my community to define me. I went to church alone, started volunteering, started dating (kinda/ not really.. I didn't date. That is a lie).

The past 4 years have been a challenge, but they have been fun. They have shaped me into who I am now. I know that this will continue in different ways, but for now, I feel really good about how God has used this season of my life. I seriously cannot even imagine being in the relationship I’m in now without having had that time to develop a sense of self. If Brian and I kept dating right after college, I would probably still be that same co-dependent girl. I would let my circumstances and surroundings define my relationships and faith. Herd mentality, you know? Having the opportunity to discover who I am, as an individual, was seriously the best gift ever.

I think a sense of self and self-confidence go hand in hand as well. We all have our insecure moments… especially around meanies or intimidating people, but in general, self-confidence is necessary in order to be a functional human being whom others want to be around. Go on! Discover who you want to be! Many years ago, Destiny’s Child told us to be independent women.  I may not be quite on the level Beyonce and co. were singing about… as all of my immediate family members live in the same city as me. But I’m trying Bey! Give me a freaking break!

I know this GIF is from the Survivor vid. But it is WAY better than the ones from Independent Women. Get off my back.

I hope that answer was serious enough for you! If you want to get to know me for reals, you can come over and we can read tabloids, watch ABC family and eat some cake and/or ice cream. Preferably both.

Apparently I take questions, so if you have any others, let me know! They could be thought provoking things like, “Who is your favorite character on Pretty Little Liars?” Or as serious as, “If you could perform one spell from Harry Potter, what would it be?” See! I am super deep. You can thank the past 4 years for that.

“Coffee” or “A coffee”

Alright folks. Brian and I have an ongoing disagreement. It’s not so much a disagreement as it is a debate laced with him thinking I’m annoying. Can’t win em all!

When I am going to go get a specialty espresso beverage, I call it “getting a coffee.” If I am having drip coffee at a restaurant or brewing it at home, I call it “having coffee.” But really, even if I go get drip somewhere and bring it home, I say “a coffee.”

This drives Brian insane. He says, “It is just coffee!!! There is no 'a' in there!” I clearly disagree. If I am ordering a prissy drink like a 2 pump pumpkin spice Americano with room… that isn't coffee, it is a coffee drink. I feel sort of bad that it annoys him, since I don’t even know when I say it. Except that I don’t feel bad at all due to the fact that I’m right.

Look! It's Brian with "A coffee."

Can I get some input here? Am I a crazy person for saying “a coffee” when I am referring to Starbucks type coffee bevs?

Even though I annoy Brian, he somehow manages to love me. It must be all that voodoo I did to make him date me. Sometimes he even likes the songs I share with him. So let’s take a cue from Whitney and #backthatazzup. Today calls for some some Betty Who:

You can download some free Betty Who here! I am currently obsessed.

Let’s talk about weddings.

At one point, Brian came to town and we did the wedding thang again. (I am losing track of time and weddings at this point) Basically we are professional wedding goers. Just part of the deal when you are in your 20s! But a wedding sure makes for a fun (free) date. Dinner, drinks, dancing? Yes please! Plus the romance is built in. Guys have it super easy in the summer. No effort necessary. Just put on a nice shirt and show up, and then they get credit for the date. Not too shabby! I don’t have any specific opinions about this, I just wanted to point it out. Other activities that have recently happened in my life include: blading on the Eastbank and drinking pretty coffee.

At a wedding! What else!?

A perfect photo bomb by Tyler! 

The group! Photo by Jess

I am currently in Sunriver (cheating on Black Butte). And I went to another wedding last weekend. I’ll probably post about both of these things in due time! Later gators!

Libby in L.A. (and some celeb stalking)

Libby moved to L.A. She is going to USC to expand her mind in grad school and be her genius self!

One time we had a par-tay to say goodbye:

Just getting in some last minute gossip. FYI: This is a picture of a Polaroid! Martha brought a Polaroid camera for some photo fun. 

Then Lib started texting us from her new home. She is taking Hollywood VERY seriously. Celeb sightings will probably take precedence over studying. Actually, I bet she will sit at Kate Summerville (multiple locations) so much (aka missing class) just to see if she can spot Lauren Conrad! Obviously LC will remember her, they already met once before. Although, she probably remembers me better, she DID compliment my outfit after all.

Here is some of the gold we have received thus far:

This is obviously Mario Lopez being his smoking hot AC Slater self. Just taping Extra at The Grove!...so people like Libby can creep on him.

I'm sorry you just wasted your time reading this waste of a post! TGIF.

Elephants and Jessie Spano.

I wish I had pictures of Jessie Spano on an Elephant. But alas, this is not nearly as cool as that!

The good thing about living your life and not posting for 2 weeks, is that you actually have some stuff to post when you decide to start again! Crazy. How do people do this every day? Their lives must be far more exciting than my own. I actually have stuff on file for later! I think this is the first time that has ever happened to me.

The news in the neighborhood is this: Elephants has opened! Think delicious food, grab and go treats, a full bar, Stumptown coffee… etc. And it is a couple blocks from my home. This is going to be amazing for my life and terrible for my budget. When I saw that they were open, my response was similar to Jessie Spano on Caffeine pills. “I’m so excited! I’m so excited!... I’m so…SCARED!” Excited for the food, scared for my wallet.

Friendship Frittata at Elephants on Corbett! It isn't actually called that, but it should be. 

Big thanks to Jessie Spano for perfectly articulating how I feel:

Elephants (not the animal), if you read this and want to give me free stuff, please email me. I would jump at the chance to sell out! Especially if mac and cheese or Mama Leone’s soup is promised.

Elephants (the animal), If you read this, congrats! You can read! That is crazy. I thought you were only good at painting. Please forgive my ignorance. Do you want to come be my pet? Simply buy me a house with a big backyard first. You also need to hire a wrangler and a poop scooper. That is not something I will be doing.

Boyfriend Blunders

Over dinner and drinks the other day, a few of my friends shared some hilarious “excuse me!?” moments that happened in their relationships. Today I will be sharing three direct quotes from loving boyfriends.

This is what we looked like as we told these stories! You can decide who they were...

“You’re the prettiest girl in the city.” 

I see where this was trying to be a compliment… but JUST the city!? Her response was, “The city of Salem!?” She is not even living in the largest city in the state right now. Doesn't he know that the world was an option? Come on bro!

“That skirt makes you look fatter than you are.” 

I also understand how this was an “almost compliment.” I just urge all humans to refrain from using the word fat when talking about or to a woman. Girls know how to be honest with their friends by saying things like, “It’s not super flattering” or “It isn't my favorite.” Take a cue from us, and just drop the word fat altogether.

A follow up to that “compliment?” was this:

“If you keep eating that, you really will get fat.” 

Okay, this one is just too much! He is saying that she ISN'T fat. So that is a positive. But really, if she wants to indulge, just let her do it! Sometimes ladies just really need to eat entire box of Annie’s mac and cheese! Only me? Damn. At least it’s organic. But again, let’s just leave the word “fat” out of the equation.

So there you have it folks! Some recent flubs from the male species. I hope they have learned their lesson. Maybe read this post to any men in your life, so they can learn from the mistakes of others.

I could be Kathie Lee.

Thankfully, I have read a million posts about how hard it is to blog in the summer. It is so tough! So thank you for the posts. It re-assures me that I am not a crazy lazy person.

On to today’s post, that happens to be about the Today Show.

I love Kathie Lee and Hoda and I am unashamed. I think they are hilarious! I started watching them in college after my early classes. Because really, what are you going to do at that weird time of the morning? Duh, watch 4th hour of Today and then watch Regis and Kelly. I loved that these shows would throw a teensy bit of real news in with their amazingly hilarious host chat. Otherwise, they would mainly discuss news that I find pertinent, celeb gossip and scandals, before moving on to awesome segments about new shows, movies and books. Or seasonal segments about beauty, fashion or food.

Basically, I feel like I could do this job. And I think I could do it well. I am aware that I would be in the Kathie Lee role, the overly honest, semi-inappropriate for network TV, lots of laughter and crazy facial expressions, host role. Don’t worry guys, I already have a Hoda. Marina is subtly ethnic, has knowledge of the real issues, loves music and secretly loves the nonsense!

I MEAN!! HELLOOOOOOO!!!!

Plus, we both love wine. Ahhh wine.

If you don’t watch them now, as I assume you don’t because of work, you wouldn't know that they are doing a “find our college counterparts” search. I am devastated that this search is happening at a time that I am no longer eligible. RUDE! This contest would be in the bag! I still watch their host chat and selected segments online when I can. Yes, that is how much I love them.

Dear KLG and Hoda,

Let me be part of this contest? Or at least agree to grab a drink with me!? I will fly all the way to NYC for it!
                                                                                                   Love, Laura

This is when they lost it doing a story about gas.

See ya later!! 

Did Harry Potter make me single?

I have had a really busy week. Because of this, spending my only veg time writing posts was not on my list of things to do. Food and TV won this week. Sorry! But I’m really not sorry. Then I was all of a sudden motivated. Why? Because I realized I have never really written about my love for Harry Potter on here before. What’s that you say? “Laura, you reference your love for HP often!” Wrong. Yes, I reference it, but there has never been a post dedicated to my love for the wizarding world.

So here we go. I love Harry Potter. It is my favorite book series of all time. Over the years I have re-read a bunch of the books. Book 3 was my go to during high school. But I mostly devour 5 through 7 at the pool each summer. Note: book 7 came out the summer before my senior year in college. So we have only been blessed with the entire series for about 5 years now. Crazy right!?  

I just started the series again. I can honestly say that I have never read the entire series in consecutive order before. I would re-read later books again, but usually just before the next one came out! I remember making my high school boyfriend take me to the midnight release of book 5. Poor guy. He didn't read them, and I was a crazy 16 year old obsessed with children’s books. He dumped me when he left for college a month later. I wonder if it had anything to do with my ignoring him to read that book? Huh. I guess we’ll never know. When I say ignoring him, I really mean it. After he chauffeured me around and stood in line with me to get that book, I had him drop me off at home and I stayed up all night reading. I am pretty sure he didn't hear from me for the next 5 days. I was such a charming teen…

My fave of all time is Half Blood Prince (book 6). I love it more than the others because there is romance!

Here I am in college dressed up as a quidditch player for a sorority date party. Libby was my date (no comments please).

The movies! Duh, I love them too. Awesome job Warner Bros. Did I go to midnight showings? You bet I did. Did I dress up? You bet I did.

We were 22 when this happened. We are wearing our graduation gowns from college. This would be embarrassing, but it isn't! Harry Potter is awesome. I’m not embarrassed in the slightest. Although, I got dumped that summer too…. Maybe there is a theme here. Crap! I love Harry Potter, but has Harry Potter kept me from love?

Have a great weekend folks! I'll be out at the Antone Ranch with the horses and a HP book!

You want me to like, interact?

So you are alone in public. What do you do?

Fake texting- Everyone knows you are being a big faker. Especially if you are alone at a restaurant waiting for your friend arrive. Better to just put your phone down on the table and pretend to read the menu again.

Real texting- You are secretly worried that people think you are fake texting. Even though you are smiling at the texts…  It is obviously real! Jerks.

Instagram- You are waiting for your Starbucks drink to hit the bar. You decide to look at the Insta feed again, even though you just did that in line… I guess you should ‘like’ some stuff just to make it look like you are doing something. Better do some dramatic scrolling and double tapping. Elbows up!

Is it an addiction to our phones and social media? Or is it just a buffer used to alleviate our fears of human interaction? Let's continue:

Twitter- So you have a list created of tweeters that you actually read. There were only 24 new tweets? You scroll to the top of the regular feed anyway. No time for OMG Facts and Kardashian tweets. Too annoying.

Facebook- Ugh. Loathe checking Facebook. You never status update because there are work colleagues on there. Plus all the updates are annoying. Oh duh, you go on there to look at the pictures that you JUST saw on Insta. I guess I’ll like them here too… See this post. I still don’t know the appropriate etiquette!

Ummm now what? Do a Google image search for puppies. Yep

What if we didn't do this and instead we interacted with others? Never mind, I am obviously talking crazy.

TGIF on this non-Friday!  And…

Happy 4th of July!!!

Printing a retraction: Yoga.

I did yoga last night. Like good yoga. Know what I learned? I have only ever been to bad yoga classes before. Last night I went to Corepower Yoga. My friend Chelsii works there and has been trying to convince me to go forever! Well, ever since I posted that I don’t like yoga because I think it is boring. Because it was! Every single yoga class I had been to was boring. Hot yoga, regular yoga, vinyasa, freaking weird neighborhood studio (with creepy chanting)... all of it. BUT last night the class I went to was awesome! It was warm, not hot like Bikram, it had a good playlist and it was a fast pace. It definitely doesn't take the place of cardio paired with a Britney playlist, but at the end of the class I kind of felt like I could take on an attacker or intruder or something.

So Chelsii, I retract my statement that yoga is boring. I mean, it is still a little bit low key for me, but it is a great workout! Truthfully, I probably won’t be shelling out the big bucks for classes once my free week is over, but I may drop in every now and then!

If you like the idea of yoga and want a real work out, or if the hippy dippy stuff freaks you out, go to Corepower. I wish they were going to give me free stuff for this post… that selfish perspective is SO not yogi of me. Whatevs.

After only one class, I now have fame across PDX for my extraordinary skill in both child's pose and shavasana. 

Namaste.

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Car accidents, ice cream and bathrooms.

I got in a car accident last night. Just a minor one, but still super annoying. My friend Tracy and I were on our way to get ice cream (for her birthday!) when a guy pummeled into my car while we were stopped at a stoplight. Happy birthday Tracy! We quickly re-routed for a cocktail, you know, to medicate our whiplash. THEN we continued to Salt & Straw for our ice cream. You may be thinking, “why would you go to Salt and Straw!? They have such a long line.” To which I say, we got a pint (aka cut the line) and also purchased a waffle cone and a cup of hot fudge. You get what you want, you get to cut everyone, and you get glares. I love getting glared at for stuff like this. Sorry I’m not sorry for being awesome and knowing the rules!

That is not what this post is about though. It is about nice bathrooms. How and why is this post taking a weird turn? Well, I said to Tracy during the consumption of our sweet treat, that Salt and Straw has a cute bathroom. To which she said, “You can tell a lot about a restaurant and how much they value their customers by the quality of their bathroom.”

She is so right! You CAN tell a lot about an establishment that way. Is it well maintained? Is there cute décor? … What is the aroma? A good air freshener can go a long way. Yeah, we just went there.

Bathrooms are a weird thing to share about I guess, but if you are ever really trying to decide how you feel about a certain establishment, just check out the bathroom. Do they have amenities? Some places even provide hairspray and mouthwash. It’s like, “Thanks for looking out for me on this date!” Right!?

Car accidents, ice cream and bathrooms. That’s it for today!

Social media etiquette.

I use Facebook wrong and I don’t even care! I use it wrong because I don’t like to spend my time uploading crappy photos one at a time to my “timeline” or whatever. Isn't that what Instagram is for? And no, I don’t have them post in multiple places. Why? Because it is confusing for people! You know, etiquette wise. Seriously, what is the etiquette there? So I liked my friends photo on Insta… do I also go like it on Facebook? Isn't that overkill? Their thought, “whoa, Laura must REALLY like that photo. She liked it 2 places!” I don’t want to be an over eager social media user, but I also want my friends to get more likes! They are probably really into the likes. I didn't realize HOW into “likes” someone could be until I started dating Brian. He will say things like “let’s see how many likes you got.” Uhhh. Really? My snarky response, “I do not derive my self-worth from the likes I get on Instagram.” I say things like this because I don’t get a lot of likes… whatevs.

I just added pictures from the past 4 months-ish to Facebook. I still use it like I did in college. We would add new albums all the time! But now I just add more pictures to an old album because I don’t have enough pictures for one topic. Is it just me? Or have we all started taking WAY less pictures than in college? Each night out in college could have its own album on Facebook. Now… not so much. Just one Insta per friend gathering.

Please enjoy some of the photos that went up. If I am posting pictures on my blog, do I really need to also post them on Facebook in a timely manner? I say no.

February / March

April / May

May / June

So please forgive me for using Facebook wrong. Actually, nevermind. I’m not even sorry. But can someone please tell me what our etiquette is for ‘likes’ on the same picture posted on multiple social media sites? It is annoying. And the fact that I am even asking this makes me feel old.

Only one post this week! I’m off to Seattle for a wedding! Thank the heavens above that it was sunny this past weekend. My white legs probably would have blinded the bride causing her to trip down the aisle. Don’t worry guys, they got a little color. I have full confidence that everyone’s eyes will be just fine. But I’ll probably use some self-tanner just to be safe.

If a tree falls...

You know the saying, “if a tree falls in the woods and no one hears it, did it make a sound?”

I have a new one, “if you wear a cute outfit and no puts it on Instagram, did it even happen?”

I feel good when I look good. I think a lot of people would agree with that. I am going to take it a step further though. When I feel good because I look good, I am more confident. Not just more confident walking down the street (like when I wear bright lipstick), but more confident in my job. I swear I am more productive if I like my outfit. That was just a side note and not really about what this post is about.

Okay, back to it! Do you guys ever have the issue, outfit wise, that you liked what you wore but since graduating from college no one seems to take pictures anymore? Just like one of their drink at a bar and your sleeve happened to make the cut. “Ummm… can I get a tag in that pic? That is totally my arm hair.”

I didn't have a picture for this post, so I emailed my friends, "whoever responds first with a picture is what I will post." I guess it is throwback Thursday... here is the lovely image that we got:

Marina won. This is from the same summer as this post. 

Until next time!

My biggest concern was my tan.

For a long time my summers were spent at the pool. As I sit here at my desk, I reflect. Literally. My skin is so pale it is reflective. I long for the days where I spent my time at the pool! I will obviously be spending my weekend in the sun, but it is just painful to think of those former summer days while I am sitting here at my computer. I didn't have a care in the world. Or if I did, it was about a boy or something else stupid. Come back to me dear summer! I did not appreciate you as I should have.

Summer 2008. Ignore my crazy face. 

4th of July 2008 when we had missed the fireworks. I only added this because Brian is in it! I like him, sue me. 

At the time these photos were taken, the most important things to me (and probably Lauren and Marina) were as follows:
1. Being tan
2. Getting Lauren into Happy Hour (she was still 20)
3. Frozen yogurt

Happy sunny days my friends! Don’t forget your SPF 30!
This post is about college summers when we actively neglected out part time jobs and internships. Still to come? A post about childhood summers!

Prancercise all summer long.

I know you have all seen the Prancercise video. If you haven’t, then you probably do more things in your real life and spend less time on the internet. Maybe I should take a cue from you!?... Anywho, it is awesome and right up my alley. Prancercise looks like the perfect workout. Basically it is dance walking with ankle weights. I pretty much do this anyway whenever I am excited to have arrived somewhere, just without the weights. Apparently the traffic to the Prancercise Website was so extreme that it crashed on Wednesday. I read up on Prancercise creator, Joanna Rohrback, and her ingenious exercise inspiration came from horses. Also please note that Joanna does not approve of the Gangnam Style horse dance. Those are some bold statements Joanna. Watch out for Korea...

 Now that the video has gone viral, I am really hoping this takes off! Kinda like parkour… right?

It also makes me think of the sign spinner people. I was always amazed by them as a child. Standing there rocking out to their diskman. Does it really help drum up business? I mean, I don’t all of a sudden need a new mattress because you were spinning that sign at the intersection. I just kind of feel like Prancercise is a version of these folks. Like if they abandoned their sign, slapped on some ankle weights and took their dancing selves down the block. Well… kinda. Those sign spinners are pretty intense. Not quite like Prancercise  Okay, wipe that whole last paragraph.

This leads me to this. Let’s all just Prancercise to the #backthatazzup playlist. In honor of June first and the impending summer months, I bring you Summer Girls by LFO.

RIP Rich Cronin. You were undeniably the hot one.

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I think you're pretty.

I'm busy, but I think you're pretty!

I hope you had great long weekends... even though it is already Wednesday. Can I do that when the next weekend is as close as the last? Even though it isn't! Because the weekend extended through Monday. Duh. You guys are so rude.

Don't judge me for posting this picture.

I have nothing else. I am having a less than stellar day, which seems inappropriate because today I wore floral pants! I don't think you should be allowed to have a below par day while you are wearing floral pants.

Time out: being below par is a good thing in golf. You are trying to shoot "under par." It means that you are practically the next T-Woods! (without the grossness preferably). Yet, we use the figure of speech to represent a "below average" account. I mean, it makes sense, par does represent the average... BUT it totally doesn't make sense! We aren't trying to have a less than average day. hmmm. The English language is in need of some assistance. Much like my day... Such is life.

...and don't act so surprised, I have some sports knowledge! Limited. But some.

I am officially smarter than Webster. Whoever he is. My day is turning around after all! Until next time.

Everyone loves free stuff!

Free stuff is awesome. Everyone loves it! The gentleman I am dating (I don’t know what to call him on here. I hate it when people refer to their significant other with a nickname. His name is Brian, so yeah, we’ll just call him Brian) is very charming. VERY. He refuses to get a single punch on a punch card, gotta go for the double punch! and he is always looking for a bonus or a discount. You know what? He usually gets it due to his charm. This has honestly become an issue since we started dating, because in many cases I will be with him! Having a chick with him really cramps his style. And by style, I mean flirting potential with random females working at Dairy Queen. You would think this would bother me right? It doesn't. I want him to get free stuff too! So, as a solution, I either need to hang back or bring some charm myself in order to get the extra service and potential freebies.

Ways we have been successful as a team:
- One of us hangs back while the other uses their charm.
- We both bring the charm and a few jokes at each other’s expense. Sometimes people just think we are funny, decide they like us and want to be our friend! I mean who wouldn't!?

We honestly have gotten to a point where the scenario is evaluated and we can usually stay on the same page. There have of course been occasions where one of us just loses it (usually me)… but sometimes people are stupid and you just need to get your item or check and get out!

One issue is that Brian isn't good at reading the server. Sometimes (all the time) he gets all “what do you recommend?” (side note: My dad does this too… Lord help me) when clearly the server doesn't have a lot of time to spare! They are busy that night and just want our order and want to move on. They will look at me with desperation and annoyance in their eyes. My solution is to rush Brian, which he is oblivious to and then asks follow-up questions about spice level in a few items. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes this is gold! Sometimes the server wants to kick-it and share their expertise. If this is the case, I will join in with the schmooze, it just doesn't always go down that way.

So this post is pretty pointless (like all of them). I hope Brian doesn't get mad that I wrote about him. I called him charming! Plus he says that all publicity is good publicity. I hope he considers this good publicity. And really, it is more about being kind to strangers than getting free stuff... sorta.

On a completely different, but slightly related note, I got $20 worth of free face mask from Sephora last night! I have been reading about this one mask that is $70. Who pays $70 for face mud!? Crazy people that is who. Also, the people who pay that are clearly not aware that Sephora will make you a sample of anything! All you have to do is get bold and ask. I got a sample of “super mud” and it is amazing. You can see the spots on the mask where it was pulling oil out of your pores. SICK! I would post a photo of it, but you would likely throw up on your computer.

I’m off for the long weekend tomorrow afternoon! Booya! BBR here and here and here I come!

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