Victoria's Secret Model Eats Ice Cream with Tayor Swift.

How's that for a headline!?

I LOVE the VS Fashion Show. It taped last night. Is it just me or is T-Swift working on her leg game? Maybe she is tryna get on Carrie’s level? Get em guuurl!

Some people get annoyed with the VS fashion show and get all “How can we possibly live up to this unnatural body standard!?” Uhhhh no one said you had to. It is just good entertainment with awesome musical acts. Crazy person. Also, it is winter. So it isn't like anyone is suggesting you put on a bikini tomorrow. I am suggesting you put on a big chunky sweater. It will all be okay!

PS. Those girls don’t eat food like normal people. Have you had food? It’s delicious! You know that saying, “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels”… ??? That statement could not be more untrue! Whoever wrote that has never had truffle fries. or ice cream. or cheese.

This may or may not have been photo-shopped. Tune in on Dec. 10th to know for certain!

I plan on watching the VS fashion show on my couch. With a bowl of ice cream. In my big chunky sweater (for warmth from the ice cream). I could not be more excited! I always enjoy the energy and enthusiasm behind the show. And you know I love me some T-Swift!

Feel free to call me an anti-feminist. The show airs on December 10th, come over to throw things at me if you must!

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Leather pants like Ross Geller.

Yesterday I saw 4ish posts about leather pants. I live in the Pacific NW and am not as bold with my fashion as many. There are plenty of folks here who are, it is just that my city is pretty casual. Because of this, I do not rock a full leather pant. I have my own toned down NW version though, leggings with faux leather panels up the side. They are as bold as I’m probably going to get.

I love them because they make me feel sassy. They also make me feel like I am channeling my fave character from Friends, Ross Geller. So ridiculous and perfectly pathetic!

I love Ross and his leather pants:

- Fart noises on the couch

- Shrinking from the sweat/ legs expanding from the heat

- Powder to absorb the moisture

- Lotion to get them back up

…Poor Ross. How could he know that the lotion and powder would make a PASTE!?!

Anywho, I plan on wearing my leggings often. Especially now that fall is here! Luckily these leggings will also help keep me from a "Ross like" situation. Don't worry, I will check on you full leather pants people if you haven’t come back from the bathroom. I will always assume you are potentially coated in a baby powder/ lotion paste.

PS. If you say Ross isn't your favorite character, you are lying. Or you haven’t watched the whole series. The divorces, the leather pants, the kundis, the teeth, the spray tan, the margaritas. Seriously!

Things I don’t care about.

This mostly in regard to social media.

1.) Your Paleo diet. Or the fact that you made Paleo food. Piggy back: your vegan diet and your juice cleanse. Although, if I was doing a juice cleanse, I would tell EVERYONE! Just to brag and to get sympathy.

2.) Your Crossfit life. See this post.

3.) Your baby’s digestion, bowel movements and vomit. I like looking at pictures of your baby, but I don't want to hear about the other stuff. I want to have kids someday... please don't scare me away from it.

4.) Your latte foam. We have all seen pretty latte foam! (Addendum: if it is in the shape of an animal or something unique, feel free to post.)

5.) If your sports team is winning. I clearly need to quit Facebook and Twitter during football season. If I see one more waste of a post that says “Goooo Ducks! #WTD” or “Beaver Believer” or “Let’s go Hawks!”... Obviously the weekend and social media can no longer go hand in hand in my life. (Addendum: If your comment is funny or clever, feel free to post.)

For the record: I am guilty of plenty of lame posting. Like tons!! And I will continue to post pictures of my friends, my boyfriend, coffee and bloody marys as much as my little heart desires. I don’t care if you already know what they look like.

On a completely unrelated note, yet something I do not care about, Grey’s Anatomy is still on! I saw an add while watching Modern Family. I thought about it for a second and realized that I used to watch in 2006!!! Give it up Grey’s. You aren't ER. We all stopped watching MANY years ago.

This post may seem negative, but really I am just telling the truth for one little blog post. For the record, each annoying post is canceled out by at least 4 that I enjoy! I swear, I am not a miserable person.

On a scale between normal and "Kim Kardashian cry face."

I read Thought Catalog, and you probably do too... But I still had to share this! You guys, this is a real (accurate to life) scale.

It is a little bit difficult to imagine being in "hurts worst" pain while looking at pictures of the James Van Der Beek and Kim Kardashian cry faces. Please read the text under 5-6 before softly sobbing into your overpriced americano. Oh you had time to make coffee? Good for you.

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Notes for the needy.

I just have a couple notes to share today. I feel that it is my duty to offer advice to those in need. I am a crazy good humanitarian.

Lamar,

I heard about the DUI arrest. Our mutual friend, the internet, has been talking about it. Come on Lamar! Don’t you know that you are my favorite Kardashian person? I am sad that you are having a rough time right now. I know it is probably stressful to be a free agent and that you may be feeling a little bit depressed and out of control. I know it was really hard for you emotionally when you were playing like crap for the Mavericks. I get it Lamar, life is tough sometimes. BUT I really think you can make it through.

Why? Because of this:
You are a 6’10” man. You are worth a bazillion* dollars. Your wife is hilarious and crazy rich. Basketball isn't everything. Know what else isn't everything? Substance abuse. Just cool it! hugs not drugs Lammy. Hugs. Not. Drugs.

XOXO,
Your local D.A.R.E representative

*this is an estimate


Miley,

Yeah, that was gross on Sunday. Liam’s poor parents. I also feel sad for you. Mostly because your mom was clapping… So maybe this really isn't your fault after all? BUT do you know what is your fault? Your filthy tongue.

I am personally not that upset over your performance. Honestly, I had my eyes closed through most of it. I just couldn't look. But you know what I did see? I saw your dirty tongue. Brush that thing before you put it out on display for the world to see on national television. Get a tongue scraper maybe? I bet they have them at your dentist, probably even at your local Walgreens*. I am surprised your mic didn't quit working from your toxic breath. I just assume your breath was toxic due to the sight of your white tongue.

XOXO,
4 out of 5 dentists

*not confirmed

TGIF and Happy Labor Day weekend folks! 

Libby in L.A. (and some celeb stalking)

Libby moved to L.A. She is going to USC to expand her mind in grad school and be her genius self!

One time we had a par-tay to say goodbye:

Just getting in some last minute gossip. FYI: This is a picture of a Polaroid! Martha brought a Polaroid camera for some photo fun. 

Then Lib started texting us from her new home. She is taking Hollywood VERY seriously. Celeb sightings will probably take precedence over studying. Actually, I bet she will sit at Kate Summerville (multiple locations) so much (aka missing class) just to see if she can spot Lauren Conrad! Obviously LC will remember her, they already met once before. Although, she probably remembers me better, she DID compliment my outfit after all.

Here is some of the gold we have received thus far:

This is obviously Mario Lopez being his smoking hot AC Slater self. Just taping Extra at The Grove!...so people like Libby can creep on him.

I'm sorry you just wasted your time reading this waste of a post! TGIF.

I could be Kathie Lee.

Thankfully, I have read a million posts about how hard it is to blog in the summer. It is so tough! So thank you for the posts. It re-assures me that I am not a crazy lazy person.

On to today’s post, that happens to be about the Today Show.

I love Kathie Lee and Hoda and I am unashamed. I think they are hilarious! I started watching them in college after my early classes. Because really, what are you going to do at that weird time of the morning? Duh, watch 4th hour of Today and then watch Regis and Kelly. I loved that these shows would throw a teensy bit of real news in with their amazingly hilarious host chat. Otherwise, they would mainly discuss news that I find pertinent, celeb gossip and scandals, before moving on to awesome segments about new shows, movies and books. Or seasonal segments about beauty, fashion or food.

Basically, I feel like I could do this job. And I think I could do it well. I am aware that I would be in the Kathie Lee role, the overly honest, semi-inappropriate for network TV, lots of laughter and crazy facial expressions, host role. Don’t worry guys, I already have a Hoda. Marina is subtly ethnic, has knowledge of the real issues, loves music and secretly loves the nonsense!

I MEAN!! HELLOOOOOOO!!!!

Plus, we both love wine. Ahhh wine.

If you don’t watch them now, as I assume you don’t because of work, you wouldn't know that they are doing a “find our college counterparts” search. I am devastated that this search is happening at a time that I am no longer eligible. RUDE! This contest would be in the bag! I still watch their host chat and selected segments online when I can. Yes, that is how much I love them.

Dear KLG and Hoda,

Let me be part of this contest? Or at least agree to grab a drink with me!? I will fly all the way to NYC for it!
                                                                                                   Love, Laura

This is when they lost it doing a story about gas.

See ya later!! 

What do I do with my life?

4 things I have been doing instead of writing worthwhile blog posts:

1.) Watching Scandal
I am addicted to this show! Entire first season is on Netflix and the entire second season is on Hulu Plus. I really love the show and the suspense, but to be completely honest, I am finding myself a little scared at night. Like move quickly through the apartment scared. It is reminiscent of how I felt after watching Are You Afraid of the Dark on Nickelodeon. Do you guys watch Scandal? Do you love it? Does it scare you as bad as it scares me?

2.) Being a cheer coach
We picked our new team! The girls are great. It isn't cheer season or anything, but during slow times like this I end up checking in with girls a lot more about their actual lives and not so much their cheer lives. During the season I see them every day, but it is 100% cheer 100% of the time. Not right now though! I swear teenager’s lives are far more complicated than ours were at their age. I think it is because they have all this crazy technology to make everything worse.

3.) Going to Starbucks on a regular basis for mediocre espresso drinks
Yell at me for going to Starbucks all the time. Do it! I dare you. I live in the NW and good coffee is a big deal. So is buying local, eating organic, wearing hemp clothes and not using an umbrella. Okay, so I buy organic produce when I can and I don’t own an umbrella even though it rains 9 months out of the year here. You caught me! BUT I do go to Starbucks. Why? Because they are everywhere and they are consistent. Consistently mediocre? Yes. But whatever. I can always count on Starbucks for familiarity and I find it comforting. They are also really fast. And if it takes longer than 5 minutes they will give you a free drink ticket. So quit your judging! I don’t have time to get up early so I can go to the local coffee place and wait ten minutes for pour over coffee or manually pulled espresso. [Zack Morris Timeout: Going to a suburban Starbucks is “late for work torture.” It is crazy slow. Don’t do it!]

4.) Working at my regular person full time job
My busy season is fast approaching. Both yesterday and today my lists have been getting longer and longer. And due to the fact that all I am doing is adding to my lists… there is no time to do any of the tasks that would let me cross something off!

Have a great day! Peace to all.

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A news break.

I cannot stop watching the live news feed of everything that is going down in Boston and the surrounding areas. I don’t know about you guys, but I could use a little something happy when most of my news feed and twitter is so incredibly depressing. Brian Williams just reported that people in Watertown have been told that they should not answer their doors! Scary scary scary.

In my attempt to bring you a smile, please enjoy an episode from season one of Boy Meets World. Not only is this a great after-school special type episode that teaches about acceptance, but it is FILLED with future D-list celebs! Be on the lookout for Yeah-Yeah from Sandlot, the klepto guy from Can’t Hardly Wait, Val from Brink and that chick from Full House, babysitters club etc. It is basically a who’s who of future 90s stars.
Side note: Shawn had a sister in this episode!? She was never mentioned again...

Enjoy! And be reminded that the lesson Ke$ha taught us was really first shown to us by Boy Meets World and the free spirited Topanga Lawrence. We are who we are!

Also, no more blowing stuff up or killing people. Okay? That is enough. Seriously.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Potential new career? SPORTS!

I don't watch a lot of sports. Are you shocked!? But when I do watch sports, all I can think about is how stupid the game time reporter commentary is. There is a friendly type boy in my life who doesn't get a lot of mention on this here internet place, but as we spend more time together, my exposure to professional athletics has doubled (from almost none to a little).  And in this observation of athletics, I now have a claim out there in the universe, and now on the internet, that I could be a halftime/ post-game reporter! Seriously. All they do is say something everyone already knows and then ask an obvious question.

All you have to say is stuff like,

"I bet coach [name] is giving the players some real encouragement right now."

OR

"The team with the most points will most definitely be victorious in this match-up. Back to you [name]."

OR

"Tough loss. How are you feeling?" and "Great win! How are you feeling?" and "That was some hard play in the second half. How are you feeling?"

THEN

"Big win for the [mascot]. Back to you [name]."

The only people who need to know stuff are the real reporters in the studio. Everyone else just sounds like blithering idiots. I could TOTALLY be just as stupid as them. Please email me with any job openings or potential hiring opportunities that you hear of. Thank you.

“She clearly has done her homework in preparation for this blog post. In the end she gave it all she had, it JUST wasn't enough today. Back to you real bloggers.”

Spring Break is maddening.

Why did school give us spring break? I understand summers off for the teachers to regain sanity (so they don’t turn to the darkness and become evil). I also see why there is a winter break. It is so people can stay inside all day and not freeze to death for a couple weeks in the winter. You may think it is because of the holidays but you are wrong! It is a fact that *75% of the time, Hanukkah doesn't even fall during winter break! I call that holiday discrimination.
*Not a real statistic

But seriously what is the point of spring break!? It is just rude and discriminatory for us non-students/ non-parents of school age children. It is like it is expected that everyone just DOES spring break and escapes the remaining cold to go soak up some sunshine. As a non-student with a normal job, I say “down with spring break!” Even other normal people without kids, who have normal jobs, act like spring break is a real thing for everyone! Tell me, why does my news feed contain multiple people my age going on vacation to Palm Springs, Hawaii, Texas, Mexico, Bend and Whistler? They all have normal full-time jobs! Wouldn't they rather go at a less expensive time? AKA not spring break? You aren't in college anymore. It is time to let go.

One thing I do miss about the good old days of spring break is the awesomeness of the MTV spring break special! Remember the crazy guy VJ with long hair who was always chewing on a toothpick or cherry stem? He wore flares and platforms… must look him up. He was totally on something. I wonder if he is still alive. Songs that I recall from MTV spring break performances: the Thong Song by Sisqo and Tipsy by J-Kwon. Really mom? You let me watch that stuff!? Actually, you probably had no idea. I was sneaky like that. I don't really want to link either of those dirty videos. So instead, this video of J-Simps is hilarious! From the gauchos to her movements while singing... yikes. Enjoy!

I used to love spring break for obvious school escaping reasons. I assume I will love it again at some point. But for now, since I am bitter and at home, I say no to spring break… and yes to equal rights.

Like how I added that at the end!? I am SO political.

Road Trips and MTV

No, I am not talking about Road Rules. Close though!

Only one post this week because I am going on vacation!!!!! Woohoo! I am beyond excited to kick it with my family, ski and eat. That list is not necessarily in order of importance, but to spare feelings I decided I better type it out that way. (Hint: put them in reverse)

I’ll be here:

This is from the @sunvalley Instagram YESTERDAY! 

On a completely separate note, the trailer for Real World Portland is out. My favorite part is when they show the carpet at the airport. My least favorite part is the rest of it. I can’t help but be slightly annoyed with the quality of the cast and how they will probably make PDX look super lame by spending all their time at Splash Bar and Dirty. At least they were here during an awesome time of year! Hopefully MTV reps PDX in a fab way! It is also likely that our favorite places refused to sign whatever MTV has that forces establishments to take on all liability. I am obviously going to watch the entire season. For many reasons… including seeing if that time we yelled at them from the car makes it on TV! Ha!

Click Here to watch.

I'll be back next week!… maybe. I’ll probably have a vacation hangover. You know, when you are so relaxed from your vacation that it is debilitating. Am I the only one who “suffers” from this?

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Let’s talk about love.

Not in real life. But since it is almost Valentine’s Day, I thought we could discuss the “love revelation” in TV and movies. Next week we can talk about all things heart shaped and glittery.

Last night I was watching The Mindy Project on Hulu and in the latest episode BJ Novak realizes that he is in love with young Susan Sarandon. The reason he comes to this realization is because Mindy prompts him by asking who he would want to see on his last night of death row. First of all, where was she going with this? They had only been dating for two episodes! He was obviously not going to say her. That would be insane. They had probably literally been on 4 dates and likely don’t even know each other’s middle names. He chose young Susan Sarandon, his best friend, who he has clearly been in love with for years. Poor Mindy, it was a pretty hilarious and unfortunate When Harry Met Sally moment. Question:  Why didn't BJ Novak say he would want to see his family?

The weirdest love revelation we should really discuss is in Clueless. Yes, it is based off of Jane Austen’s Emma, BUT in Emma Mr. Knightly is her brother-in-law’s brother. I have met my brother-in-law’s brother once or twice. In Clueless, Josh is her former STEP-BROTHER! They are SIBLINGS!!!! In the movie you don’t think much of it because you assume Mel is kind of a serial-marrier due to gold diggers and was likely only married to Josh’s mom for a hot minute. But still, they probably all lived in the same house and did Christmas morning together etc. (excuse me Hanukah… Horowitz) Plus, Josh is practically living in their house during the entire movie. At one point, Mel responds to Cher’s inquiry about it by saying, “You divorce wives, not children.” So there Cher, when you have that revelation in front of the fountain (“Oh my god! I love Josh!”) you are declaring romantic love for your sibling. The extra weird part is that he reciprocates after calling himself a “brother type” earlier in the movie. Although, they probably DID know each other’s middle names because they are siblings and all. I’m not sure why I find knowing middle names significant when declaring love. It really has nothing to do with anything.

From siblings...

...to kissin'

I must mention that Clueless is one of my favorite movies of all time. I just had to reflect on the whole sibling thing for a minute. It really just makes the movie funnier and makes me love it (and Cher and Josh) more.

Writing this post has given me my very own love revelation about cheesy shows and movies. Who cares if it is unrealistic! They give me butterflies and make me giddy. This would be embarrassing but I'm pretty sure you guys know what I mean.

A list of some of the great ones:
- Rachel realizes that she loves Ross too! Once after seeing the broach he bought for her, and later when she is about to fly to Paris. (Don’t worry guys, she got off the plane)
- Kathleen Kelly realizes she loves Joe Fox on the day she is to meet NY157. Good thing Tom Hanks is really good at getting Meg Ryan to fall in love with him!
- Melanie Smooter Carmichael realizes that she gave her heart away a long time ago.
- Harry realizes that he wants to spend the rest of his life with Sally, and therefore wants the rest of his life to start as soon as possible!

Don’t even get me started on the movies where there is a bet involved and they end up falling in love.

What is your opinion on the whole “love revelation?” Do you think it is stupid? At all plausible? Do you think these types of romantic movies and shows sets us up for disappointment? I have heard crazy arguments against the romantic comedy and how it is damaging to girls perspectives etc. How you need to go through “real life experiences” with someone before you truly fall in love. Blah blah blah… No really, tell me your opinion! You already know mine.

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Have a super Super Bowl!

This is my last post before the weekend so I find it appropriate to write about the Super Bowl. As you could have probably guessed, my favorite part of the Super Bowl is not the football (shocker), but instead the freedom I feel to become a complete food monster. A common Super Bowl short list includes: Wings, pizza, guacamole, chips of the potato and corn variety, beer and sugary soda drinks, and likely a veggie tray for appearances.

My mother is the only one in our family who likes football. Weird right!? Correction, my mother and brother-in-law are the only ones in our family who like football. I don’t know what Brandon is doing, but I think my sister and I have convinced my mom to go shopping with us on Sunday. BUT the funny thing about my mom is that over the past 25 years she has consistently encouraged us to become engaged in the important football event of the moment. Super Bowls, local college games, bowl games, the Seahawks, you name it. So I expect that my sweet mother will have Super Bowl themed food out as a ploy to get us to watch some of the game. What a gem.

This is how my sister watches football. At least she is trying mom! 

Enjoy the gluttony friends! I am “rooting” for the 49ers… and Beyonce. If you plan on texting or checking Twitter and Insta for most of the game (like a normal person), make sure to read this awesome and hilarious Super Bowl post from Venus. That way you can still kind of impress your boyfriend later. He will be like, “oh my gosh! You know so many awesome football facts!” and you will be like, “I know, right!?” Although, the only thing I actually absorbed from the list is that the coaches are brothers. Reading is hard.

Have a great weekend!

Don't let the ASPCA ruin your Friday.

First things first! TGIF!!! I am beyond excited for a fun and relaxing weekend. Actually, I will be spending my Saturday at a cheerleading competition. But I happen to find that fun! Don’t tell anyone.

One thing I would like to ask you about is the ASPCA. No, I don’t have an agenda and I will probably get hate mail after posting this. But what is the deal with the ASPCA!? They often ruin my day with their damn Sarah Mclachlan dog abuse commercial (I wont be linking to it). Does anyone not change the channel when that commercial comes on? I immediately change it for obvious “I don’t want to cry alone into my hummus” reasons. Not only is the commercial unbearable, but they run it on E! Why would they do that? I don’t think the viewership of E! television is particularly humanitarian. I was watching Kourtney and Kim Take Miami for heaven’s sake. I guess Kanye did give Kim a cat… but she lost it when she was drunk. Maybe we should call Sarah and have her and the ASPCA go rescue Mercy? Nope. Just kidding! Mercy already died (sad face). Read about it here.

The truth of the matter is this: The ASPCA ad does not tug at my heart strings. It makes me mad at them for ruining my day and I therefore refuse to give them money out of spite. That is my Friday rant!

James Van Der Beek wishes you a happy weekend!!

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Golden Globes: observations and favorites.

Did you all watch the Golden Globes last night!? It is by far my favorite of the awards shows. I wrote why last year. I am not all knowing when it comes to fashion or anything, but I love the red carpet shows just as much as the broadcast!

What did you guys think of Tina Fey and Amy Poehler? I thought they were fantastically funny, but not nearly enough air time! I was kind of mad that they weren't given more opportunities to bring the hilarity. They had Libby and me LLOLing (Literally laughing out loud. As we all know, LOL has lost all meaning at this point).

First I would like to show you a few things I observed during the broadcast and while reviewing pictures of the Red Carpet.

First let’s take a look at the publicist who REALLY didn't like Jessica Chastain’s dress. It wasn't my fave either… but I think I would have tried a little harder to keep a straight face.

And here we have JLO. She was going all Britney at the 2000 VMAs with this one.

It’s Yosemite Sam! Oh wait… nope, just Bill Murray.

Sienna Miller really misses shopping at Limited Too. To get her fix she picked this dress…

Okay, enough of that. My favorites were Alba and KHud. Their picks could not be more different from each other, yet both are unbelievably glamorous. Plus these dresses seem to suit each of their personalities well. Am I crazy for thinking that?

That is all I have for today. This weekend was so awesome! Cheer season started, awards season started AND JT released his first song since 2006! Booya! Let's note that in the fall of 2006 (sophomore year of college) I was dancing to Sexy Back in the dorms. Obviously because we had all gotten back to campus... AKA brought sexy back. Kind of embarrassing and awesome at the same time. 

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The cry face of Claire Danes.

For many years the “Claire Danes cry” has been a running joke with my friends. I can just shout out a weird cry noise and they know exactly what scene of Romeo and Juliet I am referring to. This is of course followed by hysterical laughter.

Over the years, Claire Danes' cry has been all over my TV. She would cry over my main man/ not so secret 90s crush Jordan Catalano (MSCL). She would cry about having scarlet fever (LW). She would cry about her man drinking poison (R&J). It was just madness.

To my complete and joyful surprise! There is a twitter account for Claire Danes and her crazy cry face. @ClaireDanesChin exists and I find it absolutely hilarious! Thank you Homeland for bringing the cry face back into our lives. Merry Christmas to me!

I leave you with a Claire Danes crying supercut.

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Glam Whore or Glam Fairy?

... I’m still not 100% sure. The following went down in our living room on Monday night.

Current channel: Style Network
Current snack: chocolate chips and candy corn in ramekins
Time: approx 8:30pm

Libby: What is the name of this show?
Me: Glam Whores. (said w/ zero emotion)
Libby: THAT’S THE NAME OF A SHOW!!?
Me: I don't know. (still no emotion)
Libby: It's called Glam Fairy. Although Glam Whores does look like it would fit perfectly!
Both: Bahahahahaha!
[cont. uncontrollable laughter]
Lib: These girls are ridic.
[silent pause]
Lib: "Just because she does a good job doesn't mean she is a fairy."
Me: "Jessica, can you stop drinking the haterade already!?"
[silent pause]
Me: I can't keep watching this.

Channel changed to: ABC Family 
Current programming: Switched at Birth. Victory. 

If this post makes you think I don’t like horrible reality TV you are severely mistaken. Trash television is an unfortunate, yet amazing, common occurrence in our home. I just couldn't handle Glam Fairy. Watch the clip below and you will understand.

I hope you noted how A2 spelled "faires fly hi."

Today is Friday!

In celebration of the impending weekend, I would like you to remember that anything is possible!
[Start watching at 0:13]

How much do you love Tom Haverford? It should be a lot.

Open letter to Christina Aguilera.

Dear Christina,

You have an amazing voice. That is my first statement because your talent is outstanding and I want you to remember it as this letter continues.

Christina, I reflect on the days of "Genie in a Bottle" with fond memories. Time spent making up dances in the cul-de-sac on a hot summer day. Jumping on the trampoline and singing "Come on Over" at the top of my lungs. It was glorious.

Then you decided to be a Latin singer… before blossoming into X-Tina. At this time you also decided that clothes were optional, piercings were key to your look and thought spray tans were probably a good idea. Your songs on Stripped were dynamite, but something happened… were you confused? Trying to find "the real xtina”? I was confused too. But I did have a blast at the Stripped/Justified concert. I do wish you and Justin sang at least one song together though. I know it is weird, but that album reminds me of Christmas. My sister and I listened to that CD non-stop all winter, probably because every song was amazing. Personal fave: "Get mine, Get Yours."

After that, you somehow became linked to Target in my mind. Why is that? Back to Basics, Burlesque, that weird robot album… What!? You have the pipes! SING! That is all we want. I am a fan of you and your voice. I am going to speak for your fan base and tell you that good songs are the only thing we are looking for from you. We don’t need a new persona every few years. Just good pop music that is easy to belt to in the car.

I like you on The Voice. You are a sassy beez. You have a good dynamic with the other judges and it is fun to see you in a normal-ish environment. Although, your boobs are always out. You should tuck those girls in at least once a week... I promise they won't suffocate. Time for a new stylist maybe? I am excited for your new album! I have high hopes for what it may contain.

Remember Mickey Mouse Club? Me too.

Love,
Laura

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