We don’t actually know what we look like.

It isn't like we see our faces all day. I know my hands and nails pretty well. I think they are okay. And I like to paint my nails because it makes me feel put together. I have decided that this is because I literally look at my hands on my keyboard ALL DAY. It is other people that have to look at our faces. Your co-workers and friends probably know your face a lot better than you do. I bet you know details about your significant others face that they don't even know.

I have some friends who are absolutely beautiful! And to be honest, they probably don’t realize how babelicious they are. It isn't like they look at themselves all day. They stare at their computers until it feels like their eyeballs are bright red and about to fall out of their heads. When you feel like a zombie, you assume that you look like one as well.

How I (and probably many others) feel after work:
- My skin feels greasy
- My eyes feel dry (I have now rubbed them, therefore mascara flakes now sit on my cheeks)
- My legs feel like they only half work
- I am hungry enough to eat a meal, but know I should only have a snack (it is confusing)
- I know my make-up came off, but I don’t care
- My outfit feels stale
- My hair is now misbehaving (depending on the weather)
- I need to brush my teeth but opt for gum instead

I assume this is how everyone feels after an 8-hour day at their computer. BUT when I meet my friends for Happy Hour they all still look solidly decent after a long day at work. When we feel nasty, we assume that we also look nasty. We do not see ourselves all the time, others do. In conclusion, this is why we do not always feel the confidence that we know is in us.

Have you ever looked at a picture and thought, “wait, is that me?” It is my guess that you have. That is because you don’t spend your entire day looking in a mirror or at pictures of yourself ala Kim Kardashian. Congratulations for not being a narcissist!

We don’t know what we look like because we spend all of our time looking at other stuff. You are probably good looking. Give yourself some credit.

One Direction had it right. You don't know that you're beautiful! It's okay, why would you?

PS. These guys look like little girls. Nice voices though... call me in 10 years.

Tricks and Treats in the Emerald City.

I went north this weekend to celebrate Halloween. Go ahead and start calling me Lucifer for celebrating the devil's holiday. I just really like to dress up! It was a blast to spend good quality time with friends. I’ll add pictures below of our outrageous 80s outfits, but first I thought I would share 3 weekend highlights.

1.) People laughing at our costumes and us staying in character by walking around doing lunges, high-kicks and punches. (I was sore the next day)

2.) Laying in Cameron’s bed while watching Harry Potter and eating tortilla chips.

3.) Brunch with some of my fave ladies X2. (we had brunch twice, there weren’t clones of my friends)

Jazzercise and Flashdance

Others thought we were Olivia Newton John. I'll take it! 

Prom queen 1985! And her Mormon date. 

Just a couple action shots. Did you want to store your lip gloss in my fanny pack? 

I hope you all had fun and safe weekends! My Halloween will continue with a chili/ voting/ candy passing out party at my parents house on Wednesday. Woot!

Default Settings

I guess the journal app wasn't a waste after all! Okay guys, this is not a usual post for me. I’m going to get all weird and slightly emo on you. And because I am “reading” Gone Girl, I am going to include a quiz at the end. Who are we kidding… I listen to audio books on my commute. It rocks, you should do it.

Here we go:
I am generally not insecure. At this point in my life, the most insecure I get is usually related to vanity and how others perceive me. But In the past it was SO much more. There was a lingering, ‘am I good enough?’ The most insecure time of my life was probably during college. I am going to assume that this is pretty common. You are no longer at home, you are “playing adult,” and you are making grown-up-ish decisions about your life. I guess it makes sense to be insecure as you are literally coming of age.

That being said, I now have a much stronger sense of self and it is quite liberating. I know who I am. I know how cherished I am by God. I feel confirmed, encouraged and loved by most of the people in my life. Honestly, I feel awesome! Maybe too awesome sometimes...

Yet, putting my self in scenarios where I formerly felt insecure causes me to default into an unstable state of mind. My 19 yr old self comes creeping through and it can become debilitating. And I left that girl behind a long time ago! Some of her outfit choices were… let's just say they were questionable.

My question for you is this, why do we let this happen? We can be completely secure adults, who make solid choices and feel stable in who we are. Yet, we get thrown into situations that make us default into who we were a long time ago. Insecurity, or that reaction that makes us feel like we aren't good enough, seeps back to the forefront. We default into someone of the past.

So what is the plan you guys? Do we avoid those situations at all costs? Or do we get strong enough to not default?

QUIZ:
When you are feeling less than awesome, insecure, or not good enough, do you:
A.) Eat your feelings.
B.) Exercise
C.) Pray about it.
D.) Spend time with people who make you feel like a million bucks.
E.) A,C and D
F.) All of the above.

You probably think the answer is F (all of the above). Well, you are wrong. The answer is E. Duh! Exercise is for chumps.

These are just a few of the chicks who make me feel like a million bucks! This was us (and wine) on Monday night.

I bring this up now because I feel like this has happened to me recently and I thought it could be happening for you as well. Is it!? Or am I alone out here in all this crazy?

I’m totally buggin’!

I’m still feeling totally out of material. Because of this, I downloaded a “journal” app for my iPad. You know, to write in daily. I have never been a good diary keeper or journaler. Any honestly, I am glad I don’t have a record of some of the trivial crap I “went through” as a teenager. So embarrassing.

As expected, the journal has one entry… the intro entry. I have had tons of ideas though! I know it! Because I think of things and topics, or see something totally absurd and think to myself, “I should write that down and post about it.” But I am in a meeting, or driving or having an actual human interaction. Not exactly times conducive to busting out an electronic device.

Who do you think I am? Doug Funnie!?

He always journaled. I bet those entries are embarrassing now though. You guys, he liked a girl name Patti Mayonnaise...

All of this pondering and effort to come up with material has made me reflect on the “theme” of my blog. Because really, is it a lifestyle blog? I write about how my mind wanders, I write about pop culture and things I think are funny, silly or “important” to share. THEN when I am lazy, I add posts about my actual life. I add filler posts of weekend activities. Apparently it is the way I give my rambling mind a rest. My thought process is exhausting! It really is. Just read this paragraph 3 times fast and you will understand.

New topic:
The Man Repeller wrote an awesome post about Clueless that I am pissed I didn't think of first.  Because of this, I have been listening to The Cranberries today. My first thought due to the awesomeness of the playlist was, Elton would so approve of this choice. My second thought?... I really hope my future husband likes 90s music.

Currently playing: The Wallflowers

I’m obviously buggin’

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Glam Whore or Glam Fairy?

... I’m still not 100% sure. The following went down in our living room on Monday night.

Current channel: Style Network
Current snack: chocolate chips and candy corn in ramekins
Time: approx 8:30pm

Libby: What is the name of this show?
Me: Glam Whores. (said w/ zero emotion)
Libby: THAT’S THE NAME OF A SHOW!!?
Me: I don't know. (still no emotion)
Libby: It's called Glam Fairy. Although Glam Whores does look like it would fit perfectly!
Both: Bahahahahaha!
[cont. uncontrollable laughter]
Lib: These girls are ridic.
[silent pause]
Lib: "Just because she does a good job doesn't mean she is a fairy."
Me: "Jessica, can you stop drinking the haterade already!?"
[silent pause]
Me: I can't keep watching this.

Channel changed to: ABC Family 
Current programming: Switched at Birth. Victory. 

If this post makes you think I don’t like horrible reality TV you are severely mistaken. Trash television is an unfortunate, yet amazing, common occurrence in our home. I just couldn't handle Glam Fairy. Watch the clip below and you will understand.

I hope you noted how A2 spelled "faires fly hi."

Black Butte and Katy Perry

Black Butte was super relaxing. Fall foliage, vino and the Katy Perry movie… yep, that describes my weekend pretty well! No other words needed.

There was a Harvest Fair happening in Sisters. So that was awesome! 

We took long walks in the cool autumn air.

Pretty fall foliage!! 

Did you guys see the Katy Perry movie? If so, did it make you guys like Katy Perry? I have always found her so annoying due to her songs and outfits. But now I like her! Not necessarily musically, although some songs are catchy, I just like HER. The breakdown due to the demise of her marriage made her human and now I am rooting for her. Why she is dating John Mayer is beyond me. She is better than that!

I hope your weekends were relaxing too!

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Fog and writers block.

I am currently suffering from writers block. I usually have drafts in my email of random thoughts and ideas. Or I find notes in my phone that easily prompt me to write a post. These past weeks have been a struggle though. Once I get going the text usually flows, as I’m sure it will for this one… about writers block. In many cases it is hard to shut me up. Even when it is about absolutely nothing! I’m sure my real life friends are nodding their heads right now. I have a special talent for talking about things I know nothing about with extreme, yet baseless, passion.

It is foggy and I am lethargic. I am also thinking about buying one of those happy lights from Costco. I don’t have winter depression, but I also don’t think it hurts to make a preemptive strike.

I love fall so much! But the knowledge of the impending season of darkness is daunting. I just need to push it out and enjoy this time. The trees have begun to change! I am so excited to crunch through them in my boots! You know, on my walk from Nordstrom to Pioneer Place.

Walking on this will be boss. 

I am off to Black Butte this weekend! So I’ll be sure to spend some time looking out the window while coming up with some post ideas that you will all like!

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