Text that GIF.

I have some new fun for you all! The day? Saturday. The activity? Texting GIFs. The result? non-stop hilarity via text. And the fun hasn't stopped since.

Trying to get Marina to come over after discussing her need to do laundry at my apt:

Mar’s text:

“This is what happens when I think about leaving my couch.”

My response to her attitude:

I received this text from Libby (mid movie) on Sunday night:

“How I feel when Laura makes us watch ABC Family Christmas movies.” 

Then there are some reaction GIFs that have been used in multiple scenarios. They work best in gossipy conversations. Hey, at least I'm honest!

I really recommend this form of communication. It makes everything more exciting!

PS. This is how Marina feels about you not wanting to use GIFs in your texts.

“Are you effing kidding me?”

Happy faces and heavy hearts.

Hello to you all. I have noticed the blog shift today as people decide not to post normally and instead talk about their heavy hearts, gun control and mental health services. I don't have a lot to say politically, nor do I have eloquent words about the happenings in our fallen world. So...

This poem was emailed to me and I'm sure it is viral on Facebook or something, but I don't really care. It gave me joy so I want to share it too!

Twas’ 11 days before Christmas, around 9:38
when 20 beautiful children stormed through heaven’s gate.
their smiles were contagious, their laughter filled the air.
they could hardly believe all the beauty they saw there.
they were filled with such joy, they didn't know what to say.
they remembered nothing of what had happened earlier that day.
“where are we?” asked a little girl, as quiet as a mouse.
“this is heaven.” declared a small boy. “we’re spending Christmas at God’s house.”
when what to their wondering eyes did appear,
but Jesus, their savior, the children gathered near.
He looked at them and smiled, and they smiled just the same.
then He opened His arms and He called them by name.
and in that moment was joy, that only heaven can bring
those children all flew into the arms of their King
and as they lingered in the warmth of His embrace,
one small girl turned and looked at Jesus’ face.
and as if He could read all the questions she had
He gently whispered to her, “I’ll take care of mom and dad.”
then He looked down on earth, the world far below
He saw all of the hurt, the sorrow, and woe
then He closed His eyes and He outstretched His hand,
“Let My power and presence re-enter this land!”
“may this country be delivered from the hands of fools”
“I’m taking back my nation. I’m taking back my schools!”
then He and the children stood up without a sound.
“come now my children, let me show you around.”
excitement filled the space, some skipped and some ran.
all displaying enthusiasm that only a small child can.
and i heard Him proclaim as He walked out of sight,
“in the midst of this darkness, I AM STILL THE LIGHT.”

- Cameo Smith

Have a lovely day my friends! Remember that just because evil is present does not mean that God is absent. When tragedy strikes our world like this, people begin to treat one another better. We are more tolerant, we smile each other more, we are less inclined to freak out at stupid drivers (sort of). We are somehow given perspective for a brief moment. Sadly, the perspective usually fades, but for now let's share our happy faces.

I will try and bring you a smile with an embarrassing story about myself later in the week. Be nice to each other!

All I want for Christmas.

Is a new Christmas recipe to try and a perfect ski day.

Actually, what I really want is the means, clothing and motivation to dress cuter. But I think that is just a pipe dream at this point.

Okay, I admit it. You know I am still holding out for the Harry Potter Snuggie. I guess Santa didn't get my letter last year. Now they are sold out!! I guess I’ll have to go back on the Hogwarts Express without my cozy Griffindor robes. Lame. (Full disclosure, I am aware that I would probably be a Hufflepuff. So embarrassing.)

Cheesy, but the best gift is going to be spending awesome quality time with my family and friends. My family is super cool and hilarious (mostly on accident). I am excited for a lazy Christmas morning, a big breakfast and cooking all afternoon.  Another highlight will be spending the evening by the fire with a glass of mulled wine and a stockpile of Christmas cookies. These cookies will have been baked with my gurl Caitlin. We have been doing a Christmas cookie bake since high school. It is seriously awesome and you should be jealous!

Gross pictures. But these things will happen! 

Maybe I am alone here, but I haven’t really enjoyed the festivities that this holiday season has to offer. It has been too rainy to get hot cocoa and walk downtown looking at the lights! I haven’t been to Zoo Lights since I was a small child either… not that I’m tryna do that. It is probs a rip off. Basically I have only seen the tree in Pioneer Square doing a drive by and I have done most of my shopping online. It makes me feel like something is missing! The city goes all out and I feel like I have turned my back on the fun. Peacock Lane anyone? Let’s hold hands and look at the lights.

Not related really, but this is my parents Christmas card. Cute right!?

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The cry face of Claire Danes.

For many years the “Claire Danes cry” has been a running joke with my friends. I can just shout out a weird cry noise and they know exactly what scene of Romeo and Juliet I am referring to. This is of course followed by hysterical laughter.

Over the years, Claire Danes' cry has been all over my TV. She would cry over my main man/ not so secret 90s crush Jordan Catalano (MSCL). She would cry about having scarlet fever (LW). She would cry about her man drinking poison (R&J). It was just madness.

To my complete and joyful surprise! There is a twitter account for Claire Danes and her crazy cry face. @ClaireDanesChin exists and I find it absolutely hilarious! Thank you Homeland for bringing the cry face back into our lives. Merry Christmas to me!

I leave you with a Claire Danes crying supercut.

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Help me! I'm scaly.

My moisturizer has been discontinued!!! Or at least they have stopped carrying it in all of my stores. I have used Johnson’s soft lotion (the pink one) for about 8 years… now it is gone. Last time I found it I stocked up, but it of course didn't last. I currently have a moisturizer that works fine but smells like “amber scent” my least favorite ever. I had no idea when I purchased. It was all sealed up. Damn you Target! BUT I feel like I should use it because I don’t want to waste!

This is me. 

I had some Kiehl’s dry oil that I was obsessed with all summer, but it ran out super-fast and isn't cheap… plus it smells a little bit like pot. Not my jam.

Here is what I am looking for:
A not super expensive dry oil or rich moisturizer that absorbs fast. It would ideally have a pump, but I guess I could DIY that bit. It must have a light fresh scent that isn't overwhelmingly manly, naturey or floral. Basically, I want it to smell good, but be light enough that it doesn't conflict with a perfume if I choose to wear one.

Any suggestions!? I am at a loss. The winter months are here and this will become an issue. Call me, email me, text me, or comment. I am desperate. This is kind of embarrassing considering the real problems in the world. Meh, just deal.

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Things I am not good at: Sports/ Being competitive

I am going to start a new series. All of the other series type things on this blog have obviously taken a lengthy hiatus… so don’t put a lot of hope into this one either. This series is going to be: Things I am not good at. I thought it could provide some general entertainment to the masses. I am good at a lot of stuff, but I am bad at just as much stuff! God does that to keep us on an equal playing field (I can back it up with some verses if you would like).  For a non-biblical example: Aren't people who are good at math usually bad at human interaction? Haha! I just say that because I’m bad a math. But that is a post for another time.

This post is about traditional sports and my lack of competitive nature.

I am coordinated at some things. I have good balance and flexibility and I am decently strong. Not like crazy strong. I don’t do cross-fit or any of that crazy crap. But I am healthy and generally coordinated at skiing, dancing etc. Basically just the fun important stuff.

I am not good at traditional “boy sports.” You know, the horrible boring ones like soccer and basketball. Call me sexist. I don’t even care. I generally feel negative about anything that involves throwing, catching or kicking. Hand me a bat and I will swing it at your head. Try to throw something to me and I won’t even try to catch it. I would rather stand there and watch it hit the floor than embarrass myself trying to catch it. Unless it is a baby. I would probably try to catch a baby, but seriously bad move. I can’t catch. Why are you throwing your baby at me?

Yes. This happened. 

This photo likely highlights my one and only interaction with traditional athletic equipment. And look how I’m holding it! Pinky up!? I was clearly too girly for a full grip on that stupid bat. At least I am rocking some awesome pink overalls. I knew what was important even then.

My sister is this way too. Her friends joke about how she is the least competitive person in the entire world. Well, we are both that way. Why? Because we have to be. If we cared about winning, we would be living in constant disappointment. Oh, you want to play cards? You are annoyed that I am not as “into it” as you? Sorry, but I was molded at a young age to not be competitive. Our lack of ability in playground activities taught us to check our competitive nature at the door. This lesson began very early and has seeped into other areas of our lives. Even if it is something that we have the potential to be good at! Like cards, shuffleboard or handstand contests… Actually, we would dominate in a handstand contest. Let’s go. Let’s do this. Psych! We don’t care.

Wanna hear something hilarious? My sister is on a rec softball team. She secretly hates it and is constantly expressing her hope that each game be rained out. Duh. (Sorry Donkeys!  I hope none of you read this)

I am pretty excited about this series! I hope you are too. We'll see how it goes! Eventually I will run out of material right?...

Jessica Simpson is pregnant again.

What does this mean for her 3 million dollar Weight Watchers deal? Also, seriously Jessica? I think Suri puts it best. We do not need another 17 month long pregnancy from this chick.

I really hope this is a false report. It isn't like US Weekly is the standard in journalism.

I don’t know if the world is ready more pregnant J.Simps pictures. Are they ever going to get married?? Call me old fashioned, but wouldn't you prefer to have your baby daddy be legally bound to you when you gain all that weight? Just a thought.

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