Potential new career? SPORTS!

I don't watch a lot of sports. Are you shocked!? But when I do watch sports, all I can think about is how stupid the game time reporter commentary is. There is a friendly type boy in my life who doesn't get a lot of mention on this here internet place, but as we spend more time together, my exposure to professional athletics has doubled (from almost none to a little).  And in this observation of athletics, I now have a claim out there in the universe, and now on the internet, that I could be a halftime/ post-game reporter! Seriously. All they do is say something everyone already knows and then ask an obvious question.

All you have to say is stuff like,

"I bet coach [name] is giving the players some real encouragement right now."

OR

"The team with the most points will most definitely be victorious in this match-up. Back to you [name]."

OR

"Tough loss. How are you feeling?" and "Great win! How are you feeling?" and "That was some hard play in the second half. How are you feeling?"

THEN

"Big win for the [mascot]. Back to you [name]."

The only people who need to know stuff are the real reporters in the studio. Everyone else just sounds like blithering idiots. I could TOTALLY be just as stupid as them. Please email me with any job openings or potential hiring opportunities that you hear of. Thank you.

“She clearly has done her homework in preparation for this blog post. In the end she gave it all she had, it JUST wasn't enough today. Back to you real bloggers.”

Things I am not good at: Math

My name is Laura and I am terrible at math. Not just like normal person bad, but like REALLY bad.

To this day I add on my fingers and can only multiply by the low numbers or 10. I remember thinking long division was fun. But I think that is just because I liked my 4th grade teacher. I also know that I was bad at it. Hey, you can be bad at something and still think it is fun! Reference: Things I am not good at: Sports.

Ways my poor math skills inhibit my daily life:
- When I tip, I never add change to the tip to make the total rounded out. You think I can do that math!? You are wrong.
- On the same topic of tipping. I am also a really good tipper. Not because I am super generous, but because I only know how to make 10% from the total. I then of course double it (Yeah! multiply by 2 booya!). And if there is a weird amount of change I will round up to the next whole dollar. Most of my tips are over 20%. Especially at bars or buying other low cost items.

Basically, being bad at math is making me poor. It isn't all bad though. Luckily my complete ineptitude for mathematics set me up for some really great friendships! How is this possible? Let me explain...

How bad math skills gave me great friends:
- Because I scored so low on the math portion of the SAT, I had to take a proficiency exam at Linfield.
- Because I failed the proficiency exam (are you kidding!? There were fractions! Of course I failed) I had to take a remedial math class.
- Guess who else scored low on the SAT and failed their proficiency exams? MARINA AND LIBBY!

Here we are 2 days before graduation. Posing as freshman in line for Dillin. (the dining facility for underclassman)

Because we all suck at math, we ended up in the same class at Linfield during the first semester of our freshman year. It was called Great Ideas in Math. It was Math 116 and it was hard! I mean, we all got an A in the class, but still. Libby and I would sit in my dorm room and do our homework together struggling to get through the worksheets on topics like infinity.

For a better idea of what this class was like… for our final project Libby and I made paper mache Mobius bands and changed the words to Love Shack to be about Mobius bands. We got an A.

A couple tastes of the song: 
-"I've got me a Mobius band, it has one side and one edge, and we’re headed on down to math class."
- "A Mobius band is a really cool thing that / we can learn about together! Mobius bands baby!"

This is where I say thank you to my liberal arts education. I will never forget what a Mobius band is.

Obviously this experience bonded us together because we are all still friends today. Libby and I lived together for 7 years [see this post] and Marina moves in next month. Great Ideas in Math? More like great friends for life!!

Spring Break is maddening.

Why did school give us spring break? I understand summers off for the teachers to regain sanity (so they don’t turn to the darkness and become evil). I also see why there is a winter break. It is so people can stay inside all day and not freeze to death for a couple weeks in the winter. You may think it is because of the holidays but you are wrong! It is a fact that *75% of the time, Hanukkah doesn't even fall during winter break! I call that holiday discrimination.
*Not a real statistic

But seriously what is the point of spring break!? It is just rude and discriminatory for us non-students/ non-parents of school age children. It is like it is expected that everyone just DOES spring break and escapes the remaining cold to go soak up some sunshine. As a non-student with a normal job, I say “down with spring break!” Even other normal people without kids, who have normal jobs, act like spring break is a real thing for everyone! Tell me, why does my news feed contain multiple people my age going on vacation to Palm Springs, Hawaii, Texas, Mexico, Bend and Whistler? They all have normal full-time jobs! Wouldn't they rather go at a less expensive time? AKA not spring break? You aren't in college anymore. It is time to let go.

One thing I do miss about the good old days of spring break is the awesomeness of the MTV spring break special! Remember the crazy guy VJ with long hair who was always chewing on a toothpick or cherry stem? He wore flares and platforms… must look him up. He was totally on something. I wonder if he is still alive. Songs that I recall from MTV spring break performances: the Thong Song by Sisqo and Tipsy by J-Kwon. Really mom? You let me watch that stuff!? Actually, you probably had no idea. I was sneaky like that. I don't really want to link either of those dirty videos. So instead, this video of J-Simps is hilarious! From the gauchos to her movements while singing... yikes. Enjoy!

I used to love spring break for obvious school escaping reasons. I assume I will love it again at some point. But for now, since I am bitter and at home, I say no to spring break… and yes to equal rights.

Like how I added that at the end!? I am SO political.

AIM and my work as a part time model.

Psych! I'm obviously not a model. I am considering busting out AIM again though. Dear AOL, thank you for teaching me how to type both quickly and incorrectly. Love, Laura

I just wrote that sentence after writing the post. Don't worry; it will make more sense later. But now I want to elaborate on my life as a part time model! Remember Flight of the Concords? Nope? You are missing out. Anyway, they have a funny song about "the most beautiful girl in the room (depending on the room)" and how she could be a part time model, but she should probably keep her real job too.

I just started laughing listening to it again! And yes, the girl in the video is Cher from Clueless the TV show.

You may now proceed to the original post:

I don’t know what the heck I am doing with this blog. I like to write and ramble but the longer I have a corner of the internet, the more I realize I have no idea what I am doing. Internet stuff is so beyond me! Tell me, do I now need to go on bloglovin, google analytics and that reader subscriber majig to fix my URL? Why are people all of a sudden using bloglovin!? Is it because reader is going away? I think bloglovin is so annoying to use. How dare Google get rid of something without providing us with a replacement? I just want to check my email and blogs at the same time! Is that so much to ask? At this point I may as well go back to Hotmail or AOL. If I switch back to AOL I will hear “ you've got mail” every time I log on! My life would get SO Kathleen Kelly. Maybe this isn't such a bad thing after all. I wonder if my handle from 7th grade is still available!? I’m pretty sure my password was the name of the boy I liked. Don’t worry guys, we totally “went out” and held hands at lunch time.

On a completely different note, Jenn Pfaus is da bomb! And took pictures of us rando bloggers at a PDX blogger event. She is awesome and fun, and made me feel super comfortable. But I think we can all agree that getting your picture taken alone is a terrifying and awkward experience. I’m sure fashion bloggers will say “you get used to it!” In response I say, “That is a really bizarre thing to get used to. You are weird.” Okay, back to the photo sesh. As soon as Jenn started snapping photos I forgot how to smile and couldn't remember what to do with my hands and arms. I was quickly corrected by Jade, who told me that standing with my arms plastered to my sides was a bad idea. My solution was to just laugh the whole time. Therefore my eyes were likely shut in 90% of the pictures. Sorry Jenn! I’m crazy squinty.

Jenn was great though, and by her amazing photography skills (and likely witchcraft), we ended up with some really great shots! … Although, upon getting them back I mega regret not washing my hair that day. Can’t win em all!

Peace friends! Hit me up on AIM (MissQTpie99).

New URL for BHTB!

That title has a lot of random capital letters in it.

Yesterday I read an article with a title that read something like, “Subdomains are stupid and you are stupid for having one Laura." Okay, it didn't say Laura… but it might as well have. Call me crazy for considering $10/ per year to basically be one million! But the article reassured me that it was really more like $0.03/ per day AKA basically free. So I went ahead and purchased a real domain.

Maybe the article was an add by Go Daddy and they are just tricking me into doing it! I blame Danica Patrick and her stupid race car driving ways. Get a real job Danica! I liked you so much better when you were doing Got Milk and Secret deodorant adds. The adds weren't a secret. It was for the brand Secret! You guys are idots… you know “shower fresh” or whatever. We all use Dove now right? Just trying to make sure I am still in the cool group when it comes to my deodorant/ antiperspirants.

Back to the point! I took the plunge but I ditched the crazy long url. Title is the same; we are still Back-handsprings Through Bridgetown. But the url is now backhandspringsblog. Hopefully I get some traffic from non-tumbling folks trying to learn "how to do back-handsprings." If that happens, they will be annoyed and leave immediately. Hey, at least I got your pageview sucker!

So if you need to update your favorites or readers (how presumptuous of me) go for it. Honestly, I don’t really know how it works. Won’t it just redirect you? I should probably look into this. The internet is so confusing.

TGIF!! Surfing grandma wishes you a wonderful weekend.

[1]

Disney people are crazy.

Want some joy?

Okay, here’s your joy in the form of Nationals and Disneyland pictures. The girls did great btw. Made it to finals and took home 5th place!

We love trophies! 

I didn't quite make the pose. Too scary! 

Oops. Sorry for blocking your face chick behind me. But not really. We look awesome. 

I promise I'm not a creep... those wigs were just too weird! Had to take a picture.

BTMR (Big Thunder Mountain Railroad) It is my favorite ride and deserves a nickname as it should also be everyone else’s favorite. Yes, I am going to should on you right here. If Pirates is your favorite you have some serious problems that I can’t even tackle. Anyway, BTMR was closed! I feel like anytime a major ride is closed they should be discounting your Disney pass. Seriously! WTF is wrong with them?

We were devastated.

Let’s all agree that Space Mountain is the best ride, BUT since it isn't cheesy Disney enough BTMR takes the number one spot as a cheesy and fast rollercoaster. It also gets bumped up a bit because people have died on it. Every time you ride, you are basically living on the edge. How bad ass of you! Kudos.

One last thing about Disneyland. There is something about Disney that makes people completely lose their minds. They all of a sudden buy crap with Mickey on it that they wouldn't be caught dead in any other time. Don’t you worry, I am not one of those people. I have not purchased a Mickey t-shirt, nor will I in my lifetime. Unless I end up with a kid someday who loves Disney… Then I will consider buying Mickey stuff for it. When I say "it" right there I mean the kid. I did have a Tigger jacket when I was 9… Come on Joanne! Why did you let me have that? Gross. But really, what is it about Disneyland that makes people buy all that crappy stuff? Maybe they put something in the water? That would also answer the question of why the water tastes like dirt.

So long Mickey Snow White. Until we meet again!

Hey Mickey!

Oh, Mickey, you're so fine. You're so fine you blow my mind. Hey, Mickey!
CLICK HERE (and fast forward to 0:38).

Guess what!? I AM GOING TO DISNEYLAND THIS WEEKEND!!!! Cheerleading Nationals have snuck up on me. It is going to be great! Wait, you don’t think that taking a bunch of high school cheerleaders to California sounds fun? Then you are probably a normal person. I realize that I am unhinged, but a weekend in the happiest place on earth is just what I need. Plus I love cheerleading. And spending all afternoon watching competitive cheerleading sounds look a good day to me! Here is my post from the trip last year.

Looking forward to recreating this. I need to remember to pack that shirt! 

On another note, how do you all feel about Google Reader leaving us? How do the rest of you track your favorite blogs? I really don’t like bloglovin. Soooo now I am in the market for a new RSS reader that will work for a desktop and my mobile device easily.

I will be honest by telling you that I have an unhealthy attachment to my Google Reader. That being said, what are we going to do come July 1st!? Let's be real, if Google thinks we are going to favorite sites and visit them every day, they have lost their bloody minds!  Let me know what you guys are doing. I have read a couple articles about some options, but I’m not sold on anything yet.

Have a great weekend everyone!