Living in the in-between.

I apologize in advance for the non-funny that is this post.

Lately I have had some overwhelming conversations with myself, with friends and with God. If I took a moment to listen to what God has to say back to me maybe they wouldn’t be that way… alas, I am a blabberer… even in prayer.

I have been recently been plagued by the stagnant state of my life. I know I am where I need to be, I am just used to living with the “next thing” in sight. Throughout my life there has always been something next, whether it was an impending graduation, getting a new job, moving out etc. Now I am living. This is life and I am living it! Don’t get me wrong, I am happy! It is just weird. Some of my friends had grad school next and are in that, with graduations and careers to look forward to. Currently some of my friends are changing jobs, moving cities, studying for the GRE, or are in relationships that will turn into a marriage within the next couple of years. It just makes me feel… stagnant.

Stagnant is the only word I can think of to describe how I feel. I know I am doing important things in my life and that I am right where God wants me. It is just a different state than I have ever been in before. There has always been a life-moving-something ahead. I am not looking for answers really, just more so wanted to share my experience right now. Just in case any of you 20-somethings are going through the same life evolution (and evaluation) that I am. You are not alone!

I can’t wait to see what is in store for my future! Maybe that is my problem. I just need some patience! Deep breaths… in the mean time, let’s get some fro-yo.

Now let’s think about the other kind of Sirius:

Sirius Black

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From Obsessed to Obsauced.

Sometimes my friends create new words. It isn't that weird. I feel like this is the case in many people’s lives. I instantly think of Happy Endings and how the character of Penny says ah-mah-zing. Her friends initially made fun of her before accepting it as hilarious and as unique to the quirkiness of Penny.

This type of scenario happens in my life on a fairly regular basis. Whether it is an unflattering nickname that sticks (poor Chubs), or a mispronunciation that will be said forever at that persons expense, there are words that are unique to my group of friends. But unlike Happy Endings, we will all start saying it around one another as a joke… until we say it in front of a stranger who blankly stares. Believe me, when someone calls Chelsii “Chubs” in public, strangers take notice.

The other night my friend Marina said she was obsauced with a nail color. I know this word came up later and somehow transitioned into the word obsoissed.

Yesterday an email chain discussion began about the merits of the two word hybrids.

Email from Martha:

Obsauced is literally 42 times better.

Here's why: It combines two words that actually are awesome.

Sauce: Which, if we're talking BBQ is delicious! If we're talking chocolate? Also delicious. I can't think of many sauces that aren't delicious. Sauce.

Obsessed: A word I say almost as much as I say “literally.”

I am literally obsessed with the word obsessed. When I say literally, what I'm saying may not be LITERAL. But I am still, literally obsessed. Literally. Obsessed.

If I may quote an email I received from Marina earlier this week, I can relate to the word obsauced "both metaphorically and over arching, as well as literally".  

Consensus is thus: Obsoissed is out. Obsauced is in. Thank you Martha for the detailed reasoning.

Yes. These are the people I choose to spend my time with… don’t judge. I wanted to post about this simply to share what my life (in terms of email and intellectual reasoning) is like. I hope you enjoyed!

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Congrats! You win a participation award.

Hi friends. It is time for me to talk about the participation award. I totally hate them. But do you want to know who hates them more? My mother. She will rant about how stupid the idea of a participation award is. I have always wondered why she feels this way, but now as an “adult” I think I know where she is coming from.

If we are trained since childhood that if we try hard (or really just show up) we get a trophy or ribbon, what is going to happen to us as adults?

I try hard at my job.
Does that mean I am going to be super rich? No. But they should probably give me extra money for showing up. Someone else got the promotion I was up for? Where is the freaking consolation prize? Not even a boom box or pair of rollerblades? Damn you Legends of the Hidden Temple.

I “put myself out there.”
So my good friend is engaged. I’m not, but I actively make myself available to potential dates. I have had long term relationships before. They just happened to not work out. Do I get a participation diamond ring? I partook in the love thing… where is my jewelry?! Did I miss the party at Round Table Pizza when they passed them out?

I have come to loathe the idea of the participation award as much as my mom. We all participate in life as much as the next person; it just isn’t our time to come out on top… So let’s wait and see what the future holds.

It has taken me 25 years to accept this. Therefore, I think we should start these lessons earlier in life. When I have kids, I am going to hide their soccer trophies.

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Write a book? Title ideas: Forever Ridiculous. Oregonian Diaries.

I think in my life I want to write a book. Please do not hold me accountable for this. This future book may not be very good, but I think it would be really fun.

Again, my fab co-worker Nicole is a key encourager when it comes to this kind of stuff. I regularly interrupt her work day to say things like, “Hey, I know you are working but this is super important. I think I want to write a book. Also, I love the mascara I am using.” I know guys, I am a ridiculous. BUT when I did bring up the book thing she was totally on board. Bouncing ideas back and forth with me etc... to the point that I decided this was something I could do.

This isn’t a real thing yet, I haven’t started writing it or anything. Who knows if I even will! I just think it would be super tight if I wrote an awesome slash hilarious book that somehow gets published and I get to promote it on The Today Show (What up Matt Lauer!? I am from Oregon just like Ann Curry).

"Up next on Today: Oregon Author dominates New York Times best seller list for the 7th week straight." 

Pipe dreams people. Pipe dreams. I do have this picture of what it would mean to write a book. Sitting at my laptop with notes and research gathered around me, interrupting moments of brilliance to take a sip of coffee.

Okay, those are all of my thoughts on this subject for now. If I do decide to write a book, you all will be the first to know!

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“Here’s to the sisterhood of the traveling pants.”

That was Cameron’s cheers to the fact that Marina is a traveler. We found her cheers incredibly hilarious, especially because I don’t think she even really knew what she was saying. So yes Cam, here’s to the pants... and Marina.

This weekend we had a send off for Marina. She is leaving us for 6 months for an amazing career opportunity. I am sure she will have an awesome experience and it is very exciting! Alas, I am selfish and I am going to miss my friend. I have not fully accepted that she is leaving. But that is just how it goes I guess. I think the day I text her and say “lets get fro-yo tonight” and she says, “dude. I am currently living in MT.” I will probably have a meltdown. So… anyway. We had a fab going-away send off for her. One of our favorite things is going to second Saturday at East Burn. Why? Because DJ Gray Matter breaks it down with the kickinest hits for us to boogie to. Think Whitney Houston, the Dougie and a giant dance party. You clearly missed out. But no worries, you can just go next month. You better make it though, because the next one is the last!

Send off Champy

Umm these next photos are going to come with a warning: View at your own risk! We were very sweaty from all of the poppin' and lockin'.

Music, dancing and friends are three of Marina’s favorite things (if only we could have incorporated her 3-legged cat into the evening). I can’t think of a better way to send her off into the great unknown.

Farewell Mar. Somebody is gonna miss you.

Thursday thoughts: Life, fun, sun, unicorns and moms.

Do you people ever feel like you don’t have time to live your life? Today this is what my thought process was in the car:

- Okay, I don’t have time to stop for an Americano. Annoying. Crap, I forgot to grab my lunch. Too bad I over slept… again! Boo. But really, who needs to wash their hair?
- It is so pretty out!!! Look at the river. I love Portland. All I want to do after work is walk outside.
- After work I need to go to Costco to buy laundry detergent and towels. Then I need to go to Freddie’s and get some food. I should also swing by Sephora… I guess that one can wait… but I want to get there before the weekend hits.
- Too bad I didn’t get home until late last night. I really needed to fold clothes and vacuum. Cheer tryouts > chores. So whatevs. New squad new year! It is crazio how fast these years go.
- Maybe if I get home by 8 tonight I can do a little cleaning.
- I guess I won’t be going on a walk in the beautiful weather after all…
- Oooooh and there is a new Parks and Rec! Nice.

Yes people, that was my morning thought process. Pretty much verbatim of what went through my head. I love this phase in my life. It is awesome! I am only responsible for myself. I have a job and I have commitments etc. But in general, I am only answering to myself. Yet somehow, the hours in the day run out so fast! Do the rest of you ever feel like you are losing your mind?

And while we are thinking about this, in honor of Mother’s Day, let’s please take note of how we consider our lives busy… now think about our mothers out there who managed children, households, jobs, personal lives and somehow found time to nurture their marriages and get to the gym at least twice a week. Are you serious!? Moms, you deserve more than flowers on Mother's Day. You deserve a trophy made out of solid gold, a mini unicorn, a puppy that stays a puppy forever (yet acts like a trained dog) and an endless supply of chocolate truffle cake.

My mom is the freaking best EVER! She is loving, awesome, fun, funny, understanding etc. And I know it wasn’t a cakewalk to raise my sister and me. She deserves all of the aforementioned items. But I think she would prefer lemon bars over chocolate truffle cake.

We think we are hilarious (even when other people don't). Like mother like daughters! 

Give your mom a big hug and kiss this weekend. She had to deal with you… and you were probably a devil child.

I know this post took a weird turn from being about busy schedules to how awesome our moms are… but that is just how my mind is running today.

Time for another cup of coffee! Okay okay. I’ll have decaf.

Heartbreakers and broken hearts.

Breakups totally suck. From temporary ones like Cory and Topanga, to perma ones like Brad and Jen, breakups are just no good.

I have been in discussions with many of my people as of late that revolve around the breakup. Ahh the breakup. We have all had them, we have all supported a friend through one and we all despise them. Having not been in a relationship or breakup in a few years, I get to look at this as an outsider. So just accept my perspective for now.

You can be terribly broken and devastated from the ending of a relationship. Right? Well, here is the piece that baffles me… somehow it is always worth it to take a risk the next time a potential relationship is on the horizon. Does the good of a new relationship always trump the bad of a previous? Or is it the hope that this new one won’t end? (ie. marriage) And just because you are married doesn’t mean the relationship is all unicorns and rainbows. Every relationship has its own unique set of challenges. Yet somehow we are always willing to jump in feet first and take the plunge into the complicated depths of love, or like, or lust (depending on who you are).

Does a “single” status really just mean that someone is willing to get hurt again? And no, I am not talking about Facebook… you socially networked weirdos.

Please remember that this is all theory and I personally do not have a lot to go on. Just bear with me through these thoughts.

As the people in my life have been through breakups over the years, each breakup was completely different from the next. I am going to exclude myself… yet I of course find it completely kosher to discuss the personal lives of my friends… duh.





From the many different breakups in our lives we have learned this: When there is bad blood between exes, the consoling is easy because you tell the dumpee that they are better off. When there is still communication between the exes you tread lightly because you never know how they are feeling on any given day. When things just end, they just end and you comfort your friend as they deal with the heartbreak. But in complicated matters of the heart, new scenarios arise. Why? Because no two relationships are the same and therefore no two breakups are the same. You can learn from your past, but when it comes to breakups, chances are each circumstance is a whole new ball game. As humans who are wired to learn from our experiences, this is incredibly frustrating.

I so wish there was a standard. A cookie-cutter break-up if you will. If this existed, we would all know how to deal and we would all know how to best support our friends when they have a turn in the gloomy land of the breakup.

That is all I have to contribute today. I hope you are all enjoying the sunshine! Assuming you live in PDX.

Peace Out.

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