Things I don’t care about.

This mostly in regard to social media.

1.) Your Paleo diet. Or the fact that you made Paleo food. Piggy back: your vegan diet and your juice cleanse. Although, if I was doing a juice cleanse, I would tell EVERYONE! Just to brag and to get sympathy.

2.) Your Crossfit life. See this post.

3.) Your baby’s digestion, bowel movements and vomit. I like looking at pictures of your baby, but I don't want to hear about the other stuff. I want to have kids someday... please don't scare me away from it.

4.) Your latte foam. We have all seen pretty latte foam! (Addendum: if it is in the shape of an animal or something unique, feel free to post.)

5.) If your sports team is winning. I clearly need to quit Facebook and Twitter during football season. If I see one more waste of a post that says “Goooo Ducks! #WTD” or “Beaver Believer” or “Let’s go Hawks!”... Obviously the weekend and social media can no longer go hand in hand in my life. (Addendum: If your comment is funny or clever, feel free to post.)

For the record: I am guilty of plenty of lame posting. Like tons!! And I will continue to post pictures of my friends, my boyfriend, coffee and bloody marys as much as my little heart desires. I don’t care if you already know what they look like.

On a completely unrelated note, yet something I do not care about, Grey’s Anatomy is still on! I saw an add while watching Modern Family. I thought about it for a second and realized that I used to watch in 2006!!! Give it up Grey’s. You aren't ER. We all stopped watching MANY years ago.

This post may seem negative, but really I am just telling the truth for one little blog post. For the record, each annoying post is canceled out by at least 4 that I enjoy! I swear, I am not a miserable person.

Do you have a sense of self?

What kind of question is that!? Makes you think, right? Ummm... yeah, I developed it while eating string cheese and watching E! News. Okay, I’ll take it seriously.

I think some super important self-development time in my life just happened over the past 4 years.

I was single, I was working, and all of a sudden I had the responsibility for taking ownership of who I am. It wasn't college life, or circumstances, or family, or a relationship. It was me. Alone. Finding out who I am as an individual. I was deciding to find a church, I was deciding how to live, and I had to stop depending on others and my community to define me. I went to church alone, started volunteering, started dating (kinda/ not really.. I didn't date. That is a lie).

The past 4 years have been a challenge, but they have been fun. They have shaped me into who I am now. I know that this will continue in different ways, but for now, I feel really good about how God has used this season of my life. I seriously cannot even imagine being in the relationship I’m in now without having had that time to develop a sense of self. If Brian and I kept dating right after college, I would probably still be that same co-dependent girl. I would let my circumstances and surroundings define my relationships and faith. Herd mentality, you know? Having the opportunity to discover who I am, as an individual, was seriously the best gift ever.

I think a sense of self and self-confidence go hand in hand as well. We all have our insecure moments… especially around meanies or intimidating people, but in general, self-confidence is necessary in order to be a functional human being whom others want to be around. Go on! Discover who you want to be! Many years ago, Destiny’s Child told us to be independent women.  I may not be quite on the level Beyonce and co. were singing about… as all of my immediate family members live in the same city as me. But I’m trying Bey! Give me a freaking break!

I know this GIF is from the Survivor vid. But it is WAY better than the ones from Independent Women. Get off my back.

I hope that answer was serious enough for you! If you want to get to know me for reals, you can come over and we can read tabloids, watch ABC family and eat some cake and/or ice cream. Preferably both.

Apparently I take questions, so if you have any others, let me know! They could be thought provoking things like, “Who is your favorite character on Pretty Little Liars?” Or as serious as, “If you could perform one spell from Harry Potter, what would it be?” See! I am super deep. You can thank the past 4 years for that.

“Coffee” or “A coffee”

Alright folks. Brian and I have an ongoing disagreement. It’s not so much a disagreement as it is a debate laced with him thinking I’m annoying. Can’t win em all!

When I am going to go get a specialty espresso beverage, I call it “getting a coffee.” If I am having drip coffee at a restaurant or brewing it at home, I call it “having coffee.” But really, even if I go get drip somewhere and bring it home, I say “a coffee.”

This drives Brian insane. He says, “It is just coffee!!! There is no 'a' in there!” I clearly disagree. If I am ordering a prissy drink like a 2 pump pumpkin spice Americano with room… that isn't coffee, it is a coffee drink. I feel sort of bad that it annoys him, since I don’t even know when I say it. Except that I don’t feel bad at all due to the fact that I’m right.

Look! It's Brian with "A coffee."

Can I get some input here? Am I a crazy person for saying “a coffee” when I am referring to Starbucks type coffee bevs?

Even though I annoy Brian, he somehow manages to love me. It must be all that voodoo I did to make him date me. Sometimes he even likes the songs I share with him. So let’s take a cue from Whitney and #backthatazzup. Today calls for some some Betty Who:

You can download some free Betty Who here! I am currently obsessed.

Bikes, floaties and fomo.

Summer is coming to a close and once again, I missed out on some major things. Not things that can be made up for either. Once a year stuff! It is like I have Portlander fomo. Let’s review some facts. Summer in Portland is awesome! Temperatures are steady and comfortable, it isn't humid and the city takes full advantage! We have festivals, brewfests, outdoor concerts, you name it. Don’t get me wrong, I did plenty of fun summer stuff. BUT there are some things that happen in Portland that I have always wanted to do, yet have never made happen.

1. Bridge pedal. Bridge pedal happens every year and somehow I miss it every. single. year. It happens in August and looks just lovely! You get to bike over the bridges, they close the roads (and freeway) for you and you experience the best views of the city. Yet, I have never been able to make it happen. It should basically be illegal that I have never done it. Oh well… until next year.

2. The Big Float. This is another PDX event that happens once a year. I mean, they have only done it twice… but I have effectively missed both. This is probably one of the coolest Portland things that happens. Period. Yes, the festivals are cool and stuff, but getting on your floatie and taking over the Willamette in the middle of your beautiful city on a hot summer day?! Yes please! Again… until next year.

Although I missed these two events and they have made a home on my bucket list, I am thrilled that is almost fall. I have already started using pumpkin and marinara in my foods. Don’t worry, I don’t mix them together.

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On a scale between normal and "Kim Kardashian cry face."

I read Thought Catalog, and you probably do too... But I still had to share this! You guys, this is a real (accurate to life) scale.

It is a little bit difficult to imagine being in "hurts worst" pain while looking at pictures of the James Van Der Beek and Kim Kardashian cry faces. Please read the text under 5-6 before softly sobbing into your overpriced americano. Oh you had time to make coffee? Good for you.

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Notes for the needy.

I just have a couple notes to share today. I feel that it is my duty to offer advice to those in need. I am a crazy good humanitarian.

Lamar,

I heard about the DUI arrest. Our mutual friend, the internet, has been talking about it. Come on Lamar! Don’t you know that you are my favorite Kardashian person? I am sad that you are having a rough time right now. I know it is probably stressful to be a free agent and that you may be feeling a little bit depressed and out of control. I know it was really hard for you emotionally when you were playing like crap for the Mavericks. I get it Lamar, life is tough sometimes. BUT I really think you can make it through.

Why? Because of this:
You are a 6’10” man. You are worth a bazillion* dollars. Your wife is hilarious and crazy rich. Basketball isn't everything. Know what else isn't everything? Substance abuse. Just cool it! hugs not drugs Lammy. Hugs. Not. Drugs.

XOXO,
Your local D.A.R.E representative

*this is an estimate


Miley,

Yeah, that was gross on Sunday. Liam’s poor parents. I also feel sad for you. Mostly because your mom was clapping… So maybe this really isn't your fault after all? BUT do you know what is your fault? Your filthy tongue.

I am personally not that upset over your performance. Honestly, I had my eyes closed through most of it. I just couldn't look. But you know what I did see? I saw your dirty tongue. Brush that thing before you put it out on display for the world to see on national television. Get a tongue scraper maybe? I bet they have them at your dentist, probably even at your local Walgreens*. I am surprised your mic didn't quit working from your toxic breath. I just assume your breath was toxic due to the sight of your white tongue.

XOXO,
4 out of 5 dentists

*not confirmed

TGIF and Happy Labor Day weekend folks! 

Let’s talk about weddings.

At one point, Brian came to town and we did the wedding thang again. (I am losing track of time and weddings at this point) Basically we are professional wedding goers. Just part of the deal when you are in your 20s! But a wedding sure makes for a fun (free) date. Dinner, drinks, dancing? Yes please! Plus the romance is built in. Guys have it super easy in the summer. No effort necessary. Just put on a nice shirt and show up, and then they get credit for the date. Not too shabby! I don’t have any specific opinions about this, I just wanted to point it out. Other activities that have recently happened in my life include: blading on the Eastbank and drinking pretty coffee.

At a wedding! What else!?

A perfect photo bomb by Tyler! 

The group! Photo by Jess

I am currently in Sunriver (cheating on Black Butte). And I went to another wedding last weekend. I’ll probably post about both of these things in due time! Later gators!